1-2 Punch League: Goryo vs Stalin (w9)

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    Posted: 26 October 2016 at 11:09pm
Due by Friday midnite
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Goryo. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 October 2016 at 3:03pm
It's sad..

With the weight of a 'hammer', that's how hard this prick fell
So like the Soviet flag, he'll get 'one star' and a 'sick-L' (sickle)



Expo: Stalin was leader of the Soviet Union. The Soviet flag contained a hammer, a sickle and one star.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Stalin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 October 2016 at 12:34am
It's not a game, he got the name, but none of his shits gory though
Words explode, he couldn't win this on lines, so he stays in the story mode


No expos needed.
+Sick-Witted+
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Kiki Spirez Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 October 2016 at 1:11am

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Close match here. Gory, i think you had a more creative punch, but the wording and structure was a stretch (hammer reference seemed forced). But it was a different take on all the Stalin stuff, and I appreciate that.

Stalin. I feel like your punchline was almost like an obnoxious observation as opposed to a hit. Like, it wasnt harsh or witty, it was just a bit vague and generalised. I have high standards with you, and i dont think this hits it, no hate, just honesty.

Mvgt Goryo.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Crimson Juice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 October 2016 at 11:41am

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Goryo,I liked the angle you played here,it was a creative bar on
the whole,and the punch was nice and fresh too,plus as a personal
I thought even that was nice,although this bar had a signature of
being slightly forced,overall it found it's mark and landed well,even
though I'm not a fan of using L's on the norm,you did come with a
fresh slant with it here..

Stalin your offering came off as simple on viewing,the actual punch
was good but not a hard hitting blow,kind of statementish really,the
bar overall had a lack lustered feel about it,kind of nonchalant slant,
like you was going through the motions,as for the personal,this also
had a loose feel, it wasn't directed to well I believe,still it did a nice
tempo about it as it read well..

Overall i'm going Goryo here,in voting on battles he did come with
more of the categories I like to read,plus this time around I think
he's creativity was a big plus with adding weight to the punch..

Vote..Goryo..peace.
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before you can dare make an entrance".
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Droidian Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 October 2016 at 8:38am

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ok.

Gor: so this felt like a complete piece and was clever. that sick-L is a stretch but forgivable ...woulda liked to see the field of red worked in somehow to finish the flag play. i guess if i did have a wishlist i woulda liked the mannner of Stalin's death included too, but that's a big ask. solid verse.

Stalin: i felt like the execution here fell short of what the concept wad leading to. it was simple and read well enough, but wasn't enough this week.

+1 Goryo

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote spume corrupt Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 October 2016 at 12:07pm

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Storymo
Goryo, This was a pretty cool shot, but if I'm completely honest I have seen a few variations of this pulled on Stalin before, to be fair you haven't been a member too long so maybe I got to let that slide

Flagging
Stalin, Each week your drops are getting smoother to read, it's like you are working your schemes to perfection but not putting the effort into forming an effective punch.
Once you get that aspect back you will be lethal again

Vote Goryo, but I guess that it must be hard to accept defeat for Stalin considering the played angle, but I can't see enough from him here to stop the L

Respect fellas

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Lord Puente Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 October 2016 at 6:47pm

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goryo, greatjob on this one, I like the whole theme and it was original and well put together. I liked how you included all the aspects of it, and how you tied it all together.

 
stalin, I liked your as well, but not as a standalone punchline. that would be dope af in an om against him. I like the concept from it, but it didn't have that hard hit to it, would be great in im tho.
 
mfvgt goryo
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Ridley Squat Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 October 2016 at 5:33am

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Gor(bachev): Pretty good concept here, and kudos for tying all the elements needed here into a fairly concise bar. On the whole nicely executed. But ... Is Stal known to have fallen off or did it just fit the scheme? Maybe a false personal? And much as I like the components of the soviet flag concept, really don't like Sick-L, for 2 reasons. Firstly as homophones or even rhymes it's just bad, and secondly I get you're saying he's taking the L here (nice) but what's sick about the L? But I can see that in a funny punny way it could work.

Stalin : Starts well. The setup reads real smooth, and ends with something of a personal hit though of the light variety. Then the punch I had trouble with. After many reads and puzzling over the inclusion of 'words explode' I'm now starting to wonder if this is meant to be part of the gory tho/story mode multi... the actual punch though I wasn't a fan of at all.

MFVGT Goryo
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Concrete Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 October 2016 at 8:54am

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Gory, pretty solid bar, nicely incorporated the hammer in the setup, punch was effective agasinst him eventhough this concept is not breaking news.

Stalin, sweet flow per usual, punch was more of an elegant jab, would probsbly worked better in an OM diss.

Vote G-0r-yo
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Beans Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 November 2016 at 12:29pm

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Thought stalins bar was cool. But Horton bar was just a bit more creative with the better name play. Props to both but gor got this
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