LA Magazine: KOTOM Mag Vol: 1

Success is an understatement, muhfuckas! This month “King of the Open Mic” garnered more submissions than an MMA event. The variety of interpretations ranged from stories to poetry to complex abstract execution that gave quite a few people headache lol. Not only did we see up-and-comers sharpened their keys but even the established vets like Cuba and Nigma blessed the competition with high-level compositions. Equally important to dropping verses were the feedbacks. Believe that every drop received their deserved feed. Be it compliments or criticism, feedbacks, if used correctly can elevate ones writing significantly. This month we got like 12 submissions! So with out further doing you mother, lets get to it.

Bermuda Triangle

by Chain

ha you know what’s funny? Chain actually shared us an initial draft of his verse lol. Even as a draft, my man was saying shit like:

“Buoyancy. Ya boy’s at sea. Them boys can see” lol! dude was just having fun with it man. Look how easily he manipulated writing techniques (in this case homonyms...or rather near-homonyms lol). And that was just a draft, fuck, nigga! So Chain’s take on the topic was, very interesting. For much of the writing, he alluded to an “It”. As i was reading it, i was constantly thinking “What is this ‘it’ you are referring to, fella?” But u know what, i was totally over thinking; When i reread it, i found that the exposition was likely in the first two  lines lol. What’s interesting about Chain’s approach is that he doesn’t outright tell you what exists inside the Bermuda Triangle, rather he dropped a combination of allusions, imageries and vocabularies - all done in spitfire successions to give you an idea. It comes at you so quick and fast that it literally beats your receptive sensors into submission lol! The closest thing to a substantial explanation would be this line right here (see how he also snuck in a little wordplay lol; chauffer it/show for it):

On the other side the batteries are opiates

Chariot advanced enough to let a thought chauffeur it.

To chain, the other side of the Triangle is some kind of utopian society with advance living conditions. I akin it to Nirvana in my breakdown but who knows, maybe it's Heaven or some time-warp to futuristic technologically advance commune made for everyone...even the deceased? This was without doubt one of the illest interpretation of the competition. Possibly THE illest.

Here are some feeds from the rest of the site and that should speak on how ill this is.

Feedbacks

Shit,like where do I start,this was like a history

lesson and classic literature wrapped in a single

verse,

-Crimson Juice

the rhyming is damn near flawless throughout the piece - Zinaii

Pure crack top to bottom - Trizzy Tre

Cryptic Caverns

By Nigma

You know what Aristotle said? “No great mind has ever existed without a touch of madness.” Those damn Greek philosopher, they have such a way with words. Well LA also have a few of those. One of which is Nigma. This muhphucker penned shit like this:

"The dawn-afflicted water spawning softer hues of an aqua blue

Seemed to cross a line as a spot that looms had caught my view

It dragged me past horizons, persuaded me in a mocking tune

It’s impact was deep, the rhapsody amazing as it called to you"

So its no suprise that he’s able to conjure up perhaps my personal fav interpretation of the topic. Story tells of a genius boy/man who’s bored with his overachieving way and set forth on an adventure. And then stuff happened. two lines in particular was very peculiar to me (in a good way):

"After which, a cataclysm hit me like a rapture of physics

Since then, magic's been emitting like the staff of a wizard"

Amidst other types of conflict going on in the verse, this one in particular was interesting because it pitted magic vs physics. are we to interpret that as “madness” vs “genius” as the great Aristotle touched upon? Were the usage of the term “magic” simply alluding to manifestation of a disturbed highly intelligent individual? I’ve always equate “madness” to “creativity” so maybe the Triangle was simply the ‘tapping of ones creative outlet’? I’ll let yall think about it, but the philosophical and existential dilemma made for an awesome read and judging by the feedbacks, it was definitely well received.

Feedbacks

The flow in this is amazing, everything connects naturally. Content-wise, you're employing an impeccable narrative here. - alicewonder

Damn Nigma not only were technical aspects such as rhythm and rhyme incorporated in perfect harmony, but the whole piece was like, Wow! - The Rap Daemon

his shit was such a smooth read for me. Great narrative transitions as well.- The Law

Untitled

By Gnarly Teef

So this was a very late entry into the competition but i thought it was a colorful addition. Gnarly whipped up something likened to a ballad or a limerick, giving personification to the Bermuda Triangle as an actual Devil, i believe. It was a very basic linear format of storytelling. It may have turned many away but i thought it was a very interesting addition because the approach was so different. One thing i really appreciate much about this verse was the voice. As i was reading it, i’m reminded me of these old classics like the raven and even epics like Iliads. There was even a nod to Dante’s Inferno. Overall i thought it gave quite a different dimensions to the OMK. Well done, Jaws, i mean Teef.

Feedbacks

Are there any intricate rhyme scheme? no, but it had some nice creativity. - Sammy

I thought you did a good job...I liked the form (generally speaking) and I liked the literal interpretation of the brief...what's beyond the triangle? The Devil. - cuba

the rhyme schemes came off a little basic imo; you have the idea down now I think you could work on taking the next step into possibly some character development- Zinaii

The Other Side

By Cuba

This was a very dope verse about sex and birth. Wait nope, that was Chain’s interpretation of this verse lol! Actually its an equally dope verse about drug usage and OD. Ever heard of the phrase “Chasing the dragon”? Well sometimes the dragon will lead u to the devil’s triangle and well, welcome to the other side! Right off the bat Cuba demonstrated advance rhyming techniques with the unassailable crave/uncontainable phase call-back. Like Chain, Cuba didn’t waste too much time spoonfeeding the audience, instead he informed the reader by way of slick flows and imagery. I rarely see Cuba drop but everytime he does it’s a spectacle to behold. Check out this lyrical composition:

The pain and the rage I trade to be still

My brain is depraved I crave for a pill

I yearn for a thrill, it murders my will

And I’m back in the gutter with a burner distilled

Every rhyme hit right on cue; the flow was clean as fuck AND with contents to boot. Another thing i’d like to touched on were the play on words. The rope on a dope and how it connected with the next line by way of the word “soap” ha. Rope a dope is a boxing term that refers to a feign of weakness until the opposition is TOO comfortable then u handle business. And well Soap on a Rope, yall know what that is. Its not really anything too mind blowing but personally, i love shit like that. Word association kind of stuff like that actually hits and make sense! Dope shit, Cuba, and looking forward to seeing this month’s drop!

Into the 4th

by Sammy

So my idea was to use the Bermuda as a way to examine existentialism; Are we a purpose or random molecular makeups? I never gave a clear answer but basically the character in the story drowned. As a result, he came to an “understanding” of the universe. Was it a spiritual awakening? The core idea/question is: what if when we die and our molecular make up merges with the primal energy of the universe  that would allow us (like a brain synapse would) entry of understanding of every concepts and makeups of our universe? From “time” (because all energy trace back to the big bang, from what i’m told lol) to “quantum”. I wanted this molecular “return” likened to the spirit returning to Heaven, thus granting ultimate understanding, like a God. One of my inspiration was a study on near death experience and the theories suggested by scientists. One of the conclusion was that at death, the atom rises up still maintaining consciousness. That’s why reports of people seeing themselves when they’re  “dead, (or near-dead, lol)” are prominent with near-death experiences. That aside, I was very happy with the the response i got and it was very interesting to see the interpretation ha.

Feedbacks

I also appreciate the depth behind the structure, along with the narrowing "questioning" angle which contributes to a provocative aspect. - alicewonder

im loving the direction. knowledge is power, but its overwhelming.

reality is perception and perception is reality. powerful content man. -Neek

I took this part as where you where the bermuda took you you felt this god like power where everything was you and the wording and the way you described was dope; - zinaii

Triangular Issue

By Daydizzle

Similar to Cuba, i believe this verse was also a take on drug-use or rather, specifically, morphine trip. The triangle aspect was in reference to the lies and distortion one face through their stages in life. The visuals came at you at breakneck speed and i was craving for more lol. I think that may have been the one significant flaw of the work, i actually wanted more. I felt the allegory was very well executed and each progression of the story perfectly parallel a person’s descent into a drug induction.

“im making the mistake of holding onto this sinking ship

my internal compass is spinning n presciptions begin to kick in”

i dug what he did with the internal compass phrase and appropriately laid it out as a crucial exposition to the story.

It was the final act that was a highlight of this verse. Observe:

“My organs contort, im forming into something that's warm n bliss

a swarming storm of mist roars n hits my skin with a force of four hundred hornets

Im no longer Human, im the formation of historic winds

the tip of Florida to foreign lands, orbiting towards ships

roaring n without warning your compass spins like an orbit

the four horsemens trumpets get more horrid like church organs”

See it wasn’t just the imageries, It was everything! The multies, the terse wording, the plot progression...even the stressed assonance of the multies - “O’ss” and “Izz” contributed to that frantic pace as it almost sounded like waves “wooshing” and “wsssh’ing”, crashing and spraying, lol. i can literally hear it in my head as i was reading it Excellent job, Day!

Feedbacks

Your rhymes and word choice are definitely a lot better and this was particularly evident towards the end of the verse around that 'hornet' bar - point blank

DizzleDay... You had a nice ending to this man. You have really furthered your mind when it comes to vocabulary and rhyming. -ill scripturez

I liked how you shifted between your mental

reflections and subtle references to all kinds of stuff related to the Bermuda Triangle.  - concrete

Never Would have Knew

By Slip

Slip tackled the topic with a story about a father and son and the unexpected toss and turn in the sea voyage of life. It really was imaginative and, personally, i felt this may have been his best topical verse on this site (at least from what i’ve read). The strength of this verse was, again, the imagination. He knew what he wanted to do with the verse and carefully crafted the plot in a clear and concise manner. The ending was somewhat of a twist as it was revealed that ::spoiler alert:: the father was actually a time traveling space or sea pirate lol. Like i say, the imagination was there. Perhaps a little convoluted but i think the one thing this piece touched on, whether or not consciously by the writer, is the wonderment we all had of our parents when we were younger. They were superheroes and as we grow older and gradually enters our personal Bermuda Triangle of time, we uncover the, sometimes cruel, truth that our heroes also have their flaws. The concept was great but as feeds pointed out, there were room for improvements; especially the technical aspect. Regardless it was a great read for me and a nice addition to this month’s commentary of the Triangle.

Feedbacks

this wasn't bad Slip. Think there is a few things you have to work on technically but the story for the most part was solid and moved along at a good pace - daydizzle

very nice, man! Plot had great pacing and story was very easy to follow. I suppose the only suggestion is to utilize more of knack for imagery

This was a cool read; you have some ridiculous competition but this wasnt a bad story at all; the basics you have down; you can write a story with a beginning middle and end which isn't easy for everybody; - zinaii

Purge of Kings

by Hueyman

Despite the very ugly structure, i actually fucks with the concept here. There were lots of interesting thoughts scattered about. And the ending was very “surreal”. The story, as most stories involving the Bermuda, is of a ship that’s being pulled by a vortex of liquid funnel. Then this happened:

* its just like dreams you sink in by force" and lose in by course"

awesome analogy here! The ending got me thinking whether this verse was about the process of writing more than anything else. Perhaps the triangle was the manifestation of the writing procedure where once you’re “IN” you’re IN! You get lost in your work and often veer off course/tangent lol. The funny thing is, as i’m writing this, i can totally relate to that line. Like…”OH SHIT, here i am, seeking the perfect way to write this mag and next thing i know...its been like 30 mins since i last checked!” Time is gone; lost when ur in the ‘zone’. As a result there were lots i like about this verse but again, structure was very ugly and the rhyming mechanics were very inconsistent. Imagery was great though ha.

Feedbacks

I think you have an idea on what to do but your structure is fucking this up.- daydizzle

the structure is definitely difficult to deal with. once you get through that you can see you got a little style hidden in there. - neek

Okay, basically you display some potential for writing, there's some imagery here may work, but the piece as a whole seems kinda rushed - concerete

Captain’s Log

by concrete

Con came through with some good ol’ fashion storytelling. I think of all the traditional narrative verses, this one was my favorite. wording was fresh most of the way through and the way he set the scene was almost cinematic. So the verse opened with a shipping vessel, if i’m not mistaken, in the midst of a storm. The storm began to settle, however the relief was short lived as flying crafts race at them shooting a beam that would affect the mechanics of the ship. Soon, a confrontation with a half bio half mech creature ended in the disappearance of the vessel. I’m a fan of sci-fiction movies and this was a dope read and i was thoroughly entertained. It didn’t need to rely on any deep motif or concept, it was just straight up storytelling with great imagery and a very well executed flow. Not much else to say but i def enjoyed the fuck out of this.

From a technical aspect this was really sound. Really enjoyed the plot. This is a great contender for THE KING OF OPEN MICS. - Daydizzle

This was dope, I enjoyed the story, the imagery was amazing. - iziah

Liked the imagery you crafted,effortless read,the whole.Story

was fresh and origina - Crimson Juice

What’s behind the Bermuda Triangle

The Rap Daemon

I think this was the first entry? If so, hats off to Rap for kicking off this dope community event in an imaginative way. Unfortunately, the idea was lost to many readers, myself included. From what i gathered, its about a soldier or scientist involved with the military who is sick of the war and fighting and decided to create a zone where he would take these “cannibals” off one by one? The cannibals may very well refer to mankind’s knack for killing or i suppose “devouring” each other by means of war and violence lol. There were a couple of video references in there that likely meant to reinforce the theme of the verse. This character seems insane to me. almost like a necessary evil kind of thing likened to a Magneto or something lol. Overall, the imagination was there but the execution fell a bit short but props for contributing to the Open Mic King, though and progress is a forward moment so with every drop you will only get better bro. Keep on.

Feedbacks

Rhyme wise you displayed some talent and I liked the game scheme you used throughout the first few bars in the beginning. It kinda seems like youre speaking from God's perspective maybe? I would have liked more hints or clues as to why youre able to simply create the bermuda triangle - Zinaii

I think you went with an original angle to the topic which I give you props for but it wasn't easy. - Trizzy Tre

Rhymes were ok, nothing amazing but didn't stand out as particularly weak either. I think you should really sit down and think about the angle you're going to take if you're going to participate.- Cuba

Lost

by Lyrical Scripturez

This was the greatest misdirection ever, lmao!! If yall read my feed, i was really digging deep to find the humanity and the metaphor that ran parallel to the idea of a Bermuda Triangle and then BAMM..!! LS dropped that bomb on all of us when he admitted that this verse was about losing a sock, AHAHA!! Fuck you man!! Anyways, this may have been on my top 5 due to how well it was executed. The first half painted a very touching portrait of the effect of “love” and love lost. Like all great writers, LS didn’t just tell, he showed it by scribing short anecdotal morsel of despair. I do however agree with Cuba’s feed in that you somewhat went a little TOO thick on the misdirection lol. The tone, the language, you did it too well haha. But depending on how you view that, it can also be a compliment lol.

Feedbacks

This concept was hellas fresh. I feel the pain of laundry. Im not gonna go into any technical feeding. I really like the story line and the way you kept me wondering where the fuck this was going. LOL dope shit Scripts -  daydizzle

Haha, I really liked this as a concept...nice spin on the idea of the Bermuda Triangle. Having had shit eaten by the washing machine before I can totally relate & I get the new father angle as well. - Cuba

I loved the idea behind it, and you chose a really interesting metaphor of the Bermuda Triangle.  - Alicewonder

Beyond Bermuda

By Absolute Abomination

Ok scratch that, this was actually the first drop and props to AA for kicking it off. I take my props back Rap Daemon, lol, jk. So this was another narrative drop. It tells of a dock worker or seaman who was ordered to retrieve otherworldly beings? I fucks with the concept here. The Bermuda Triangle, according to AA is a portal to Atlantis. A few Atlantean snuck through the portal and was captured by the Navy, i believe. I think stories like this are very interesting because it shows, again, imagination. To construct a whole world in your head and then execute it is a commendable effort. The story was cool but the majority of readers felt it was a little flat in terms of techniques. Cuba mentioned a lack of dramatic tension which on second read i am inclined to agree with. But yeah, i think you niche may be in the narrative aspect of topicals so you should definitely cultivate that side of creative writing. Other than, there’s really not much else to touch on but say thanks for contributing to the monthly writing competition and stay up, Ab.

Feedbacks

I quite liked this actually, my initial idea would've been for a portal so I suppose it's not desperately innovative. I thought this was well written, smooth, had a clear narrative, descriptions were cool. - Cuba

This was a cool read; you honestly didnt do anything terribly but nothing stood out; you did good at setting the scene up; I would have liked to see more detail - Zinaii

word i dug the idea. a portal between atlantis and modern day earth was pretty interesting. rhymes were pretty uninspiring - day/stay/lay/way i've seen verses from you that had much more advance rhyming thats why i brought this up. - Sammy

Top 10 Lines of the KOTOM

1

“Staying up late getting comfortable with the silence

Scrolling through pictures I love of you, it's timeless

Only a year & a half ago, I know I put numbers on my mileage” - Ill Scripturez

“tiny objects appears over the horizon, lighting vibrant

brightly shining, flying at us in a synchronic sequence

coming in seeking, then we're greeted by a sonic beacon” - concrete

2

“its just like dreams you sink in by force" and lose in by course" - Hueyman

3

“death was certain the serpent began to surface

we would listen intently everyone of us wordless” - Slip

“i close my eyes n ration every last breath with a feeling thats euphoric

My organs contort, im forming into something that's warm n bliss

a swarming storm of mist roars n hits my skin with a force of four hundred hornets

Im no longer Human, im the formation of historic winds”  - Day dizzle

4

“Soaked in the soap, it’s close to conclusion

Is it a hoax for the folks? A boast reproducin’?

Or a once hidden post for ghosts and illusions?” - Cuba

5

“On an island called Adeptus

Shackeled in chains

Any who visit

Are meat for his pain

His torrment brings wind”

“Torrential rain

Blood boils the seas

And cripples the brain” - gnarly teef

6

“Centuries of science been suppressed to meet investment goals

Every hazard sign has a satin lining, inside them, gold

Reflecting in my iris... the other side of a triangle

A separate sense. Divine. Since the dive I shelter giant bones

A quest to quench my cry for redemption, pride, and desired throne” - Nigma

7

“Way beyond the walls of financial bonuses.

Buddha knew it too and never glossed over it

Just ask Jesus who the DNA donor is.

Eden is a garden where all of their ambrosias live

A place where the Kracken and Moby Dick coexist.

Never took credit for the sea ya man Moses split

Too smart not to be morally appropriate.” - Chain

8

“On the other side the batteries are opiates

Chariot advanced enough to let a thought chauffeur it.” - Chain

9

“People board the ships and the aircraft while I'm bored and stiff//

Another war to live, this ain't duty just a shortened glimpse//” - Slip

10

“It's bigger than that hear the piano chorus

This'll be the death of me; sitting on foreshadow's doorstep” - ill Scripturez

-------------------

Where the fuck yall at?!!

In this segment, i’d like to list a few names of people who SHOULD be submitting because topically, they are that fuckin ill!!

Exodutz

Like Moses, Exodutz exodus the first King of the Open Mic. This dude’s dope and pen game is something to be feared not just by newbsters but by experience niggas also. You better drop this month, man!

Alicewonder

Layers upon layers of abstract ideas woven in a delicate poetic fabric that was tailor made to be stripped to behold the beauty underneath. My good friend, Alice, i plea, by the lips of Aphrodite, please join in!

Neek

No need for introduction. Audio, text, topical, this nigga is top tier. Neek has a very slick way of wording that just flows off the tongue while combining some dope imagery for good measure. He’s already drop for this month and i’m looking forward to reading and feeding it. woof!

Ashleykaos

though more reknown as a battler and audio head, Ashley can drop some serious topical heat when she feels like it. check her, HIGHLY, underappreciated topical Battle Wounds. A very raw, visceral take on heartbreak. Please join!

Endeavor

He’s only dropped two verses since his return but End is no joke. His last verse “Only You” had a very strong audio-friendly approach which can bring some very interesting strategy to this month’s King. Dude please join!

Self Activate

Ah my brotha from another. This nigga is undefeated in another league and is amazingly getting better with every drop! The rare type to combine advance lyricsm with supreme creativity, he would definitely be strong consider for King of the Open Mic!

Venomology

Lets just get this out of the way. I’m a fan of Venom. When he write, he does it with a reckless abandonment but once you catch on, you’re like OHH SHIT! He works the flow and not the other way around. Sign up, my man!

Rutter

I mentioned this before but Rutter is still on my top 5 writers on LA. Another one reknown mostly for battles but he can get bizzy with the topical shit too. I think he has all the tools to drop a fiyah om. His flow is vicious and the thing about battling is you’re train to word things to best effect. Lets do it, man!

The Law

I had the chance to read law stuff when we were both in a league on another site and always thought he had a strong command of writing. Another guy who can combine lyricism with creativity, Law is also another top contender if he decides to drop. Which i think he should lol.

Rude

Yo Rude can write, yo! Not sure if anybody read her “Mary” verse, but that was creativity taken to the next level! The complexity of her drops, not just in terms of lyrical but overall approach made me want to PM her to write another om lol!

Stalin

Vet. Thats it. Dude’s a vet. Seen it all, done it all. Dropped a verse that is reconized site-wide as a classic by not only peers but new niggas as well. If Stalin’s entrance would be like Tong Po in Kickboxer 2.

Nep

Look, i’ve only ever read one of this guy’s verse and it was a whimsical “i’m bored” drop about his time at an airport. when another can drop a head turning verse on his “free-time”, yall know with some focus...this dude can take off some heads. Hope he signs up.

Verdict

So after some very careful deliberation. Things got ugly in the mod lounge. Cuba strong armed the whole discussion with a spike bat. Zinaii was ready as he got into his tiger stance anticipating any move by the others. The nigga Law threw the first Shuriken and Nigma cartwheel out of the way, Liu Kang style. Neek engaged in a battle of attrition with Dress To Kill - debating whether Nas was better than Jay not realizing that it had shit to do with the objective. Arthur stays observing the field looking to lay the final blow. Exo, mastered in Tai Chi Chuan reflects all the shots with soft art. Meanwhile, Scotty stays in the shadow stroking his cat. Me, i was munching on popcorn. After an ugly debate, we all came to one conclusion. Ladies and niggas who wanna fuck’em,

And the winner is…..

Bermuda Triangle by Chain!!

There were many things factored in to this decision. 1, The execution. Chain, more than anyone else was able to convey much in very little length; it really wasn’t that long! But the precision and techniques were so refined that it didn’t need be. 2. The idea. This verse took us on a visual voyage filled with familiar faces, concepts and ideas dripping through the, almost seamless, ark of rhyming mechanic. 3. Consensus. And wasn’t just the judge that felt this way as this piece was met with site-wide praise and respect. I think Chain’s involvement somehow sparked inspiration from other top tier writers as well. Well done, og.

Feel free to browse through these amazing works and give props if you haven’t already :)

Submissions

Hueyman - Purge of KINGs

Daydizzle - Triangular Issues

Concrete - Captain'ss Log

Nigma - Bermuda's Cryptic Caverns

Sammy - Into the 4th

CHAIN -Bermuda Triangle

iLL ScriptureZ - Lost

The Rap Daemon - Whats Behind The Bermuda Triangle

Absolute Abomination - Beyond Bermuda

Gnarly Teef - untitled

Cuba - The Other Side

February’s King of the Open Mic

So this month’s topic will be: A Modern day Prophet. And right off the bat we got two exceptional writers dropping some illness. Look, whether u think you are good enough to do this, throw that out of your head. Really...who gives a fuck?! Just do it! This is all in fun and a good way to get valuable honest feedbacks. I encourage EVERYONE to try it out, man. So handle your biz u sexy muthaphuckaz!!