Open Mic: [KOTM] Over - FW |
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Lord Puente 
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Final Boss Joined: 05 July 2016 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 1814  Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 4-2-0 Form: LWWWLW |
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 Topic: [KOTM] Over - FWPosted: 01 April 2017 at 8:26pm |
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https://soundcloud.com/user37035975/kotm-over-cuba-lp [Cuba] Over the foes telling me lies Over the hoes selling me cries Over and over my hopes are denied I wrote for the folks too choked to describe... Knocks and the pain, hate and the anguish Every single day they're taking advantage Till I'm downbeat, depraved and decanted Till I can't speak and craving the answers Questions I didn't seek...why do you ask? It's all the same shit, this I just grasped Walls closing in, it's getting too much Need to escape I'm feeling the rush Why is it me that you're pressuring now? Oh you don't ask just telling me how? Nah I ain't built for taking demands You're too fucking right I'm taking a stand Need to just breath...need to relax Need to repeat I'm stating the facts Need to achieve, keeping my calm Need to avoid raising alarms Need to be still, need to contain Building up an explodable rage About to give in to a heroins crave Washing over me, an ocean wave [Lord Puente] posting texts I get attention, posting clips yall bitches slept in businessman just cant accept it no return on time invested switch my method and switch direction bring attention to textin' section vocal presence with words as weapons my suggestion's yall hear the sentence swap intentions and bridge the gap discriminations left in the past no more difference 'tween white and black fuck distinction when I write or track the site is vast and yall been attacked enough of that, now here's the task click on tabs and give some feed back go and comment no strings attached  -
Edited by Lord Puente - 01 April 2017 at 8:39pm |
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Nigma
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Joined: 25 March 2013 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 4078 Crew: Elision   |
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Posted: 01 April 2017 at 8:32pm |
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Cuba didn't scream CUNT once, didn't even recognise you. This was super nice man!! Your style really crosses over to audio well. Content really worked with the beat and you delivered it well.
LP! Dope intro and you complimented Cubes well here. I feel the verse woulda been better without the cliche 'bitches slpet in' bit but overall you delivered on your end. Yall wild, Fatal Wound on da map
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Stalin
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Joined: 24 November 2003 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2599 Crew: Renegades Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 34-12-2 Form: LNWWLW |
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Posted: 01 April 2017 at 8:42pm |
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I was feeling this honestly. The beat is solid intro was cool. Cuba you had a good flow and the rhymes were good. You fit audio. You could use a little more presence.
LP good shit you had the presence but not as polished as a verse as Cuba, but you've definitely got it down for audio, some points seemed a little high though. But this shit was good no doubt. |
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+Sick-Witted+
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Lord Puente
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Final Boss Joined: 05 July 2016 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 1814 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 4-2-0 Form: LWWWLW |
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Posted: 02 April 2017 at 5:44am |
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thanks for the feed fellas,I agree, I gotta step up the word game since I got the mechanics
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Crimson Juice
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Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3263 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW |
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Posted: 02 April 2017 at 6:56pm |
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Well I'm truthfully surprised here,by both..
Cuba i liked the calm tone to your voice,it set the track up well,and Stalin hit the nail squarely on the head with the presence aspect,but you rode that beat well enough though to be honest,your lyrics felt like you had something to say too,& it didn't come off as forced or rushed either due to your delivery,good job,I'm impressed.. Puente I also enjoyed your offering too,you have the delivery/presence locked down well here,your tone seemed to lift this a notch via the accent too,content wise you backed up Cuba well,although he's verse had a grittier sombre effect, yours seemed more uplifted here,and I'm also impressed with the food Champs offering.. Good work guys,enjoyable track here..peace. |
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"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance". |
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Goryo.
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Joined: 28 June 2016 Status: Offline Points: 431 Crew: Tha Syndicate Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 4-4-0 Form: LWLWLW |
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Posted: 04 April 2017 at 2:21pm |
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Good contrast and you both meshed well with each other. It had that almost limerick-like flow which is precise (when it came to reading and listening to it) however Cuba got a bit shaky at times and nearly fell off beat. I liked the presence, Cuba gave it an almost trippy feel and it worked well with the beat. LP I was feeling your verse. Lyrics are getting tighter, everything is getting better. I like your style fundamentally, but it's gonna evolve into something killer. Keep it up guys.
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Lord Puente
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Posted: 04 April 2017 at 6:37pm |
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Thanks crim and goryo, glad y'all enjoyed it! Hopefully FW will be dropping some more in the near future!
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D.Von Doom
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Joined: 18 June 2014 Status: Offline Points: 1534 Audio Rank: Unranked Stats: 15-4-0 Form: WWWWWL |
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Posted: 10 April 2017 at 4:16pm |
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Well this is a gem. I had no clue cuba did audio, and im guessing this isn't your first time. The delivery was tight and the verse was cleanly written within the pockets. Only critique i have is having a swagger in your verse to bring those dense bars out more. LP your beat selections are top notch. The substance in your verse was relevant to LA. The confidence could definitely be heard. The bars were fine to me they fit the concept and did the job.
Dope shit, guys i wanna hear more |
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Lord Puente
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Final Boss Joined: 05 July 2016 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 1814 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 4-2-0 Form: LWWWLW |
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Posted: 10 April 2017 at 6:12pm |
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CJ, glad you enjoyed it man, thanks for the feed!
Goryo, I really hope it does keep evolving. I feel like I got the mechanics down to a T with not much room for improvement there, but my lyricism has miles and miles of room for improvement. That will be my focus on improving. Doom, you the man! Thanks for the feed, much appreciated. Hopefully we will keep the fire coming! I still got a ways to go lyrically, but watch out homie, you never know when I'll be knocking at your door step for that belt!! (Not too soon tho lolol) |
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Cuba
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Posted: 12 April 2017 at 8:45pm |
This might be my favourite piece of feedback ever!! For a long time I've tried to do what I'd call an 'audio focused' approach to writing. So my challenge to myself is "could you rap this", even if it was acapella. If you get what I mean. |
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Cuba
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Posted: 12 April 2017 at 10:05pm |
I just had a look back and it was actually 10 years since I recorded anything. Fucking hell time flies. |
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King Jehu
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Joined: 23 January 2004 Status: Offline Points: 6088 Crew: Renegades Text Rank: #4 Stats: 54-18-1 Form: WLWWWL |
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Posted: 17 April 2017 at 5:25pm |
This is how I approach all writing, even battles. I liked the short lines for this BPM, because it made everything fit nicely, and no one had to step out of their comfort zone and spit some faster shit than would be clearly audible. The fact that neither of you skimped on lyricism in those short lines was a bonus. |
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Insert something rappy here
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Elite
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Joined: 16 February 2014 Location: US Status: Offline Points: 3340 Crew: eNtiTy Audio Rank: #3 Stats: 5-0-0 Form: WWWW |
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Posted: 17 April 2017 at 5:43pm |
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cuba you sounded damn good for not having recorded in 10 years. a little slip ups and mispronunciations here and there but overall you held your own here. didnt expect that honestly, im really impressed
LP you did your thing here as well. didnt care for the intro again but your actual bars were delivered very nicely. overall you guys had some good chemistry on this track and id like to hear more collabs from the both of you in the future. with a more polished mix and some turning up on the vocals, this is definitely a track that anyone can vibe with. really nice work here. props
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CHAIN
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Posted: 17 April 2017 at 9:52pm |
 @ hearing Cuba for the first time. Dont get it twisted though. You're still tryflin lol @ Lord Puente  Super dope. Cats can actually rap 
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Lord Puente
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Posted: 17 April 2017 at 10:46pm |
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thanks for the feedback everyone@ CHAIN hell yea we can! FW will be dropping some consistent fire audios, stay on the look out!
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Rutter knows best
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Posted: 19 April 2017 at 6:58pm |
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As far as the written side. Was all very tidy from both of you. You both had a similiar pacing although the verse took different paths concept wise.
Cuba - My only gripe was "selling me cries" i know what you meant but a bit unnatural. Now this was ripped from a video from what i was told so it obviously effected the sound. I think it actually worked quite well the effect it gave it. Like me you we're blessed/burdened with an English accent. I think this too a little off the accent which maybe even helped. You did a good job here though, breath control and flow were good, it almost got away with you in at one point but you caught up. The transitions felt natural too which i gota give you props for. Lorde - This sounded good man very smooth and good pacing. The constat multi's made it really easy to follow the flow too. You didn't quite fit in the same amount of content as cuba but the short bit you did was enjoyabel. As the experienced one on ethis i felt you could of tried to wow a bit more and of maybe had a bit more of an "oh shit"moment but solid none the less. Both of your flows complimented the beat though so well done on that too. good team effort guys.
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#bananas
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D.Von Doom
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Posted: 19 April 2017 at 9:32pm |
So many targets on my back 😏 |
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Nigma wrote: