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Elite
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Joined: 16 February 2014 Location: US Status: Offline Points: 3340 Crew: eNtiTy Audio Rank: #3 Stats: 5-0-0 Form: WWWW |
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Topic: Lyric LoungePosted: 06 December 2016 at 9:00pm |
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Post any lyrics you have written in this thread. Others at rebellion will be able to read your bars and give tips and pointers and feedback on them. This thread is open to all members.
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Lord Puente
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Final Boss Joined: 05 July 2016 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 1814 ![]() Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 4-2-0 Form: LWWWLW |
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Posted: 10 December 2016 at 4:30am |
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this is a verse and hook id like to theoretically record this weekend.... whether I do it or not is a diff story.
chorus x2 id been feeling all alone and somewhat desperate being different made it hard to form a friendship cold... unknown... and socially unaccepted like a cordless phone, I was always lost and disconnected verse people threw me shade... never saw my light killin all these haters constantly crossed my mind right a wrong? no that's wrong, write this song and realize wrong decisions right outcomes, fuck im stuck with demon eyes never hold a door open, bitches wanted equal rights to my surprise, I think I might, this nina live a double life by my side and down to fight, death is what she likes to drive survive the night, I think we might, aint takin twenty five to life small c4, bombs to bust the locks in front when placed upon it rob the bank, take the ice, out from safe deposit boxes I was gone when cops pulled up too late when they came up upon it changed my clothes like all these hoes go and change up convo topics wrist was frosted, chain was heavy, pockets filled with plenty benji's
life was good was tipping twenties, didn't care bout no dead prezies shook the cops yet copped a bently, life was feeling pretty steady new identy cost me many, bouta half of all my pretty pennies chorus x2 id been feeling all alone and somewhat desperate being different made it hard to find a friendship cold... unknown... and socially unaccepted like a cordless phone, I was always lost and disconnected |
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H4ZE
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Joined: 13 July 2013 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 1859 Crew: eNtiTy Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 4-6-0 Form: WWLLLL |
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Posted: 10 December 2016 at 5:48am |
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Yo, for real bro that shit is dope i think it'd make a fire track homie.
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Lord Puente
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Final Boss Joined: 05 July 2016 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 1814 ![]() Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 4-2-0 Form: LWWWLW |
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Posted: 10 December 2016 at 4:02pm |
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This is the track I want to finish before end of December n have elite mix it for me... Theoretically I felt like this would be dope with 3 verses. On the second verse he has a crime to commit, but is in need of a second person. The second person ends up being a female who he relates to and they not only do the job but end up falling for each other.
At this point I wanted the chorus to slightly chnage like it's all looking up since he found this chick he can relate to. Then for the third verse, they doing another crime together, but this one goes sideways. He finds himself in a situation where the only way to make it out of there without handcuffs is to actually kill the girl and use her as a scape goat. Then the original chorus would come back.... Now this is all theoretical of course because I run into a personal problem on this.... I've never written more than 1 verse to a beat.... I have like a.d.d. (Not really) and get tired/bored of the beats after I've written a verse and am ready to move on to a new beat for a new verse. I will need to get past this issue. As of now, I've had that verse completed for like 3 weeks. Still nothing new that's been added on. |
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H4ZE
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Joined: 13 July 2013 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 1859 Crew: eNtiTy Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 4-6-0 Form: WWLLLL |
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Posted: 10 December 2016 at 4:14pm |
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That shit sounds fuckin crazy bro, i really wanna hear that shit. Haha. You need to just try and push past not wanting tk write more than one verse over a beat because to me it sounds like you really have some creative ass ideas.
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Lord Puente
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Final Boss Joined: 05 July 2016 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 1814 ![]() Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 4-2-0 Form: LWWWLW |
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Posted: 10 December 2016 at 4:25pm |
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btw bruh, first thing I did this am was listen to your track you just did. im on my like 10th listen on it probably lol.
in all seriousness, that track was hot as fuck. every aspect of it, top to bottom.
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H4ZE
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Joined: 13 July 2013 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 1859 Crew: eNtiTy Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 4-6-0 Form: WWLLLL |
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Posted: 10 December 2016 at 4:51pm |
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Haha i really appreciate that homie. Elites been telling me its the best track of my entire career Lmfao.
Im glad y'all fuck with it for real. |
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Lord Puente
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Posted: 10 December 2016 at 9:26pm |
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elite, that beat for your battle with sky was dope as fuck, inspired me to write a verse to it.
knowledge brings power so those empowered devour what we encounter but prior, they counter knowledge with fire they fire writers inspired then hire liars hardwired conspire lies to entire nations usin' our wires decipher ciphers in cyphers, findin' survivors and fighters counter venom with the weapons that'll squash all the spiders take suppliers from the buyers then become the provider invisible hand invincible plan until no ones left wiser than the other cuz we brothers and we one in the same now its wisdom to gain, and our strength we reclaim yeah they losin' but the only thing they losin is fame we improving, let us prove it, losin nothin' but pain removing tumors in consumers, we healin' malignant brains
producin' futures for the new earth/it'll never be the same listen close full attention, depictin' pics through this diction those positioned kill ambition for mission maintain the reign |
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Lord Puente
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Posted: 10 December 2016 at 10:06pm |
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Posting a voice recording done on my phone for this verse so y'all can peep it, will be in other subforum for crew
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afterdeath
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Joined: 30 May 2015 Location: Earth Status: Offline Points: 216 |
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Posted: 11 December 2016 at 5:39pm |
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First verse to my track I
might be titling Sodapop. I use the handle Adam Done, a play off of my real name, for my productions. But my rap or lyrical artist name is most likely going to be solidified as Sodapop after this track.
Criticism welcomed, but I am not changing anything here. The second verse, though, is in now construction and I may share that for tweaking if I feel like I could use some input. The track has been posted in our crews Production Studio thread. The cadence and breaths here have also been worked out. Its not a straight cadence, I realy like this dude from RyhmeSayers named PROF and I try and fallow in those footsteps. I’m not as animated as PROF, Yet. But I’m working on my pipes and incorporating more of a live stage performance into my lyrics. If you want to check out PROF a good example is here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1F-N6hsG-As ::Sodapop::AdamDone:: I fight for my right to write whatever I like And whenever I write I write to start a fight People are like “You can’t do that!” I’m like “prove that!” That’s when they begin to move back I used to sin to prove that I was a cool cat Stops signs I blew past my hands on the cool cash Red and blue begin flash I’m seen visions of my past One hundred on the dash cam I think I’m going to crash-land in these trash cans I’m high of acid tabs and afghan hash Man I should be in class. I’m missing math I bet my Dad wants to kick my stupid ass (I’M
So let’s get down to brass tacks I’m kicking fast facts over snare and hi-hat tracks So beware! My mind is fully intact And I might just in-act a full blown attack ::Sodapop::AdamDone:: |
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Lord Puente
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Final Boss Joined: 05 July 2016 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 1814 ![]() Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 4-2-0 Form: LWWWLW |
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Posted: 12 December 2016 at 12:03am |
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Let me tell you bout this Christmas lunch, that your brother havin', got the cheddar bacon biscuits with a jalapeño balance, and you know I just got started, aint no menu this methodic, cookin lechon with the garlic sautéed onions all up on it first smoke green weed and get stoned, like goliath the gargoyle all I ask is all yall smilin', have the best time in the world |
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Lord Puente
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Posted: 12 December 2016 at 12:04am |
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lyrics for that fun audio I posted in booth. its called "Christmas Lunch"
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Elite
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Joined: 16 February 2014 Location: US Status: Offline Points: 3340 Crew: eNtiTy Audio Rank: #3 Stats: 5-0-0 Form: WWWW |
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Posted: 14 December 2016 at 1:03am |
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yo I just posted a new topical. gonna be an audio soon. leave some feed and lemme know what yall think. try to leave a star rating too if you can
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Lord Puente
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Posted: 14 December 2016 at 1:38am |
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ill get you at a later time, maybe tomorrow. but I got you. (btw, if possible throw a star rating on my Christmas lunch one
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Elite
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Joined: 16 February 2014 Location: US Status: Offline Points: 3340 Crew: eNtiTy Audio Rank: #3 Stats: 5-0-0 Form: WWWW |
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Posted: 23 December 2016 at 5:29pm |
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I wanna be a kingpin like them motherfucker's in the movies
Thinkin' bout this money while there's people talkin' to me Tryin' get up in me and reverse my contemplations But my decision is final, dont tell me im obligated To do you right, you did me wrong, i wrote a song About it, it dont get me far Just wanna be appreciated, what the fuck are we worth? A little passion made me evil, but I make shit work But I ain't shit, church ain't my main concern Because I'm bound to ignite mane, my flame will burn I ain't Satan man, it's hard enough to break this curse Just waitin patiently, I'll pain you when the tables turn New lyrics im workin on for a christmas track |
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Lord Puente
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Posted: 26 December 2016 at 4:02am |
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first verse for a track about my life, second verse will be things changing for the better, then 3rd is inspirational verse 1 all the stress had me nauseous, always sittin on her ass, blamin us regardless
chorusx2 |
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Elite
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Joined: 16 February 2014 Location: US Status: Offline Points: 3340 Crew: eNtiTy Audio Rank: #3 Stats: 5-0-0 Form: WWWW |
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Posted: 26 December 2016 at 4:06am |
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pretty dope shit bro. flow on the first 4 lines was slick
Merry christmas to you
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Lord Puente
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Posted: 26 December 2016 at 4:09am |
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thanks man, merry Christmas to you too!
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Lord Puente
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Posted: 28 December 2016 at 1:52am |
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just wrote this, this verse is based on advanced scheming. going to record this tonight... theoretically.
lyricism mastermind, I'm blastin' rhymes in half the time my patterns like mad hatter five times as high as the highest pine my standards are the factor these bastards hatin' on my design the only fact that matters, I splatter matter that's God divine ask me all your questions, I got the answers, I never lie bring your papers later, ill write my number, on bottom line feed my need for greed and Lord P will sign, on dotted line you can keep the fame in the game my g, don't wanna shrine man this flow is cancerous, its dangerous, its hazardous after death still have my breath my pit is of the Lazarus gunnin' for the mavericks, I'm nothing but an anarchist colder than cadavers sit, I'm frozen in this swagger spit got you hooked when I go cook and this drug is unanimous
writing words on cutting boards, these schemes are so damn saporous litmus for the cannabis, I write this on this papyrus rhythmic mathematics, Like I solved it with an abacus |
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Elite
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Joined: 16 February 2014 Location: US Status: Offline Points: 3340 Crew: eNtiTy Audio Rank: #3 Stats: 5-0-0 Form: WWWW |
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Posted: 28 December 2016 at 3:42pm |
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That 3rd verse was fucking crazy. Flow throughout the entire piece was smooth as fuck too. Damn. You are really stepping your game up and bringing something to the table. You havent disappointed since you have joined Rebellion. Awesome shit
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