Elevation Centre: My Practise Thread |
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Mr Chris 
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Joined: 18 September 2010 Location: Texas Status: Offline Points: 51 |
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 Topic: My Practise ThreadPosted: 19 September 2010 at 4:15am |
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Well, I need to start practicing and getting better, and i would like it if people would help me get better and figure out how to improve / get rid of my wack shit.
"U b talkin bout puttin me on my back? (hah) ... you just a white boi, who think he black." Idk, major fail.. need help. |
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~EviL~
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Posted: 19 September 2010 at 4:34am |
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way too simple. first things first: the first line is the 'set up' and the second line is the 'punch',
think of your punch, let's say for you, how would I diss you? Because that is what I am aimimg for is dissing 'you', not a diss that could be used for 'anyone', but a diss for only 'you'.
I would first work on your name,
Mr. Chris.....ok....
My punch will be, for 'mr' -- 'mentally retarded'
so, my punch
give him a break, look at his name 'Mentally Retarded Chris'
basic for now, but works, now I need to add the set up, so what rhymes with 'mentally retarded chris' and would be relevant with the punch?
How about,
hard to miss
so let's try this:
Yea, the dude's dumb as fuck, that fact obviously aint hard to miss
But what ya expect? look at his name, he's 'Mentally Retarded Chris'
and there goes my bar with a decent set up and punch that attacks you directly.
It should make the readers laugh or say 'Damn! that was a hard hit!'.
Every single bar needs to be as effective and personal as the next.
Also, notice that my lines are even, they need to be like that throughout your verse
 Edited by ~EviL~ - 19 September 2010 at 5:31am |
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Mr Chris
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Posted: 19 September 2010 at 4:44am |
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hrmm... trying to think of a way i can get your name lol...
since your name is evil, i would thing that the punch should be something that has to do with ::demons i really have no idea how to set this one up to be honest, every attempt i have thought about would have made me loose if the other member posted "..." |
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~EviL~
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Posted: 19 September 2010 at 4:52am |
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You would look at my name and just twist it every way. the first thing that you should notice is that my name backwards is 'live'. Now I have already strategized here at LA by using my name flip against me before anybody can. I did that in me and Mancs battle for that exact purpose. Now it is played because it has been used already. The idea is no longer original. That's a good strategy for you to always keep in mind, and it works very well when you know you're up against a clever opponent and you are dropping first. But if I hadn't done that, you would first use the typical nameplay. "If I smacked you backwards" Maybe like this:One smack from me, Evil'll be sorry he's a-live
you know what I'm sayin?
But nameplay aint the only thing. Theres many many other ways to attack your opponent directly Edited by ~EviL~ - 19 September 2010 at 4:55am |
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Mr Chris
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Posted: 19 September 2010 at 4:54am |
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"This stupid little punk jus thinks he's evil..
so im gonna nail him to a satanic symbol" would that work? by the way i probably just need to get shot because i used rhymer to make sure they go together. |
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~EviL~
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Posted: 19 September 2010 at 4:57am |
Your definietly getting my point. It could be better, still very basic, but much more personal, which is what you're aiming for
btw, everybody uses rhymezone. except Ice cube, lol
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Mr Chris
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Posted: 19 September 2010 at 4:57am |
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What about using things like simile's
"This kid obviously can't count the amount of beats in a measure.. So I'mma rip open his chest like a pirate lookin' for treasure" would that work? |
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~EviL~
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Posted: 19 September 2010 at 5:08am |
That seems more of a metaphor to me.
That line has a good concept, but it looks like 2 different lines to 2 different bars.
Remember, the set up and punch HAVE to be relevant.
The set up here seems like a good set up for a 'text battle', and the punch seems like a good punch for a 'horrorcore' battle.
Be sure not to get these two genres confused. It happens alot to ALOT of newbies.
But yea, metephors are good, but more less a lazy way to get out of a real punch.
It's almost like a college sports team compared to a National Sports League.
The college team is good enough to use, and win games (metephors) but not as good and professional as the National Sports team (punches) they're are just simply on another level.
Don't get me wrong, metaphors WILL and CAN win a battle, but they have to be REALLY diverse.
Not:
I'll play you like a video game ....TOO SIMPLE!
but something really complex
Edited by ~EviL~ - 19 September 2010 at 5:10am |
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Mr Chris
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Posted: 19 September 2010 at 5:14am |
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Well, lets take Capture's name into example
How could you turn the name capture around on someone, i saw what you did as into 'captured' your attention so would u use it in a phrase like white he's 'capturing' .... |
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~EviL~
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Posted: 19 September 2010 at 5:19am |
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lol, I'll show you in me and his battle coming up, stay tuned, lol, I'd like to reply to this witha good answer but I just can't, I'm saving all of my ammo for him
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Mr Chris
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Posted: 19 September 2010 at 5:21am |
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That's fine and i understand, I'll be looking around for some stuff to post, any hints to where i can look around to get idea's for a diss
I mean the few active members of this forum, you can't really do much nameplay Member(s) online: Kosmosis, Nino, Manc, Mr Chris, ~EviL~, TURTLE, J Sass Not much you could do with any of them. |
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~EviL~
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Posted: 19 September 2010 at 5:24am |
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But as far as nameplay, you can get away with just about anything.
And you'll notice that just about every battle verse had at least one bar with nameplay.
People will even scatter the letters in somebodys name and spell something else to use for nameplay and that srategy is very effective.
You can cut somebody in half:
take letters out and make them words
Ex. U = You, or I= eye, or A= Aye, or B = Bee, or P= Pea and so on.
sometimes doing that will actually spell out a very funny and relevant sentence at the outcome Edited by ~EviL~ - 19 September 2010 at 5:26am |
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~EviL~
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Posted: 19 September 2010 at 5:28am |
There is nameplay for all of these names, you just have to think about it, believe it or not, there are at least 5 obvious ones for all of the names above
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Mr Chris
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Posted: 19 September 2010 at 5:39am |
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So for ManC you could split it up and use something like
"Co'Man-C' it" (come and see it) anyway, onto the bigger personal punchess using two words that can sound like another word... for instance this I know you think I'm far fetched but so is your moms brain, sniffing ass and raising shame.. ..she also does amazing thangs niggas would rank the doll last (dollaz) and she took that in giving you her maiden name.. |
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~EviL~
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Posted: 19 September 2010 at 5:49am |
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Wordplay?
That would be somebody elses department. I was never a fan of wordplay. But alot of cats win alot of battles with wordplay. Maybe somebody else could help ya with that. But I have scrolled thru the battles here at LA and wordplay don't seem to be a big hitter round these parts.
btw, you would get no credit for that solely because of the structure. the lines are stretched and there are 3 lines. there should only be 2 even lines ina bar. That is a strict rule. No acceeptions.
Then after that, you're talking about irelevant shit to a battle Edited by ~EviL~ - 19 September 2010 at 5:52am |
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~EviL~
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Posted: 19 September 2010 at 5:53am |
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Any other members could join in here at anytime, don't be shy, I know that you have some sound advice Manc
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Manc
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Posted: 19 September 2010 at 5:55am |
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I'm an honest man. And in all honesty - this thread reads like the epitome of cheese!
It seems scripted one way or another I'm saying - you 2/1 dude/s are tryna sell us some utter shit here & I aint fuckin buying it! Just lettin you know' Edited by Manc - 19 September 2010 at 6:09am |
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~EviL~
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Posted: 19 September 2010 at 5:57am |
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What?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????What the fuck is wrong with this site FORREAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Why the fuck is everybody so fucken paronoid here.
He asked for help, I'm throwing some fucken pointers out there, what the hell are you trippin on, seriously?
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Mr Chris
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Posted: 19 September 2010 at 5:58am |
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ok i have no idea what the hell manc was going on about "tryna to sell some shit"
I'm trying to figure this shit out, also i did not write that 3 lines, ripped it from bodybag something, idk just to see if that was something i should try to start using. ManC, Explain please? |
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~EviL~
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Posted: 19 September 2010 at 6:00am |
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he's too fucken busy Pming his buddie Capture...wtf is going on at this site, y'all got me paranoid now
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Mr Chris wrote: