Open Mic: [OM King] MODerate Violence

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Kiki Spirez View Drop Down
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    Posted: 07 June 2016 at 12:03am



This is dope. You all blow like throat penetration,
I noticed the penguins - A note that you have no elevation,
From vote segregation, to 'drop some time' screeching,
Cuba's seen more swaying scandals than DUI meetings,
SEE OUTSIDE weaklings. Neek flirting with Nig - Bro fall back,
Geek hoping he'll drop a topical piece about his ball sack,
You're all wack. But Nigma hides behind Law in more haste,
Raps suns and stars, but can only see a moon from Law's waist,
You'll fall waste, face down and bobbing with a large shark,
Law, i've seen better modding spotting boy racers at Tesco car parks,
I cause sparks. Scottys looking at LA like, 'I built ya',
His sex life is as inactive, gets less action than Jack Wilshere,
A filter to creativity, wanna-be tyrants fearing the lynchers,
Arthur stays sending for Con more than Nigerian Princes,
You leer at your printers, computers are given a quickie rape,
It's a pity mate. But i'm running through the 6 like Drizzy Drake.

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Just Belief Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 June 2016 at 2:45am
I liked the deep metaphors you rocked on this on such as the Penguins No elevation line. I think every line in the entire piece was a smilie or metaphor which is nice to see. The flow and content were coo but it was the metaphorical skill that was the showcase of this one
Good Read.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Kiki Spirez Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 June 2016 at 3:19pm
Thanks for reading lad.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Endeavor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 June 2016 at 8:57am
Keekz! Sweet short piece here.

Quote This is dope. You all blow like throat penetration, 
I noticed the penguins - A note that you have no elevation,

Well, that penguins line went completely over my head lol. I still like the direct approach though!

Quote From vote segregation, to 'drop some time' screeching,
Cuba's seen more swaying scandals than DUI meetings, 

Lmfao... +1

Quote SEE OUTSIDE weaklings. Neek flirting with Nig - Bro fall back, 
Geek hoping he'll drop a topical piece about his ball sack, 

TALK YO SHIT KEEKZ! This is hilarious.

Quote You're all wack. But Nigma hides behind Law in more haste, 
Raps suns and stars, but can only see a moon from Law's waist, 

I think this is my least favorite bar. It works, but not for me.

Quote You'll fall waste, face down and bobbing with a large shark, 
Law, i've seen better modding spotting boy racers at Tesco car parks,

Had to look up what a Tesco is and it's some sort of supermarket, right? Still, the second line went over my head a bit. Couldn't connect the "modding" to the boy racers... Unless. It's car modding, which is usually horribly done by them cats and saying Law is even worse than that... LOL. Yeah, I think that's it. You can completely disregard the first three sentences lol.

Quote I cause sparks. Scottys looking at LA like, 'I built ya', 
His sex life is as inactive, gets less action than Jack Wilshere, 

I thought the wording was a bit off in the second line but overall a pretty dope punch.

Quote A filter to creativity, wanna-be tyrants fearing the lynchers, 
Arthur stays sending for Con more than Nigerian Princes, 

Ha! This is dope. #giveArthurhisbeltback

Quote You leer at your printers, computers are given a quickie rape, 
It's a pity mate. But i'm running through the 6 like Drizzy Drake. 

Dope ending, loved the Drizzy reference!

Overall:

Apart from that one bar I thought this was a real nice read. Had some sweet punches and you were quite original in the approach. 

#Bananas

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Rutter knows best Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 June 2016 at 1:32pm
I thought this was a decent piece. Flow and references were good, and it was more on the humorous side than savage. I liked the jabs and it was a fun piece. Although i would liked to see you go for the throat a bit more. Overall decent piece though dude with its bouncy flow. 
#bananas
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Kiki Spirez Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 June 2016 at 11:31pm
Thanks guys. In the end, it's difficult to go personal for something playful like this competition. It's more like a roast than a diss. So wanted to keep it jokey.
To explain a couple of bars.. Arthur started the call out thread with a group of penguins, representing the mods - penguins can't fly lol..
 
In the UK you get a lot of boy racers with shitty modded cars that rev around Tesco car parks, thinking they're in fast and furious.
 
And finally, Jack Wilshere is an England player going to the Euro's, despite having hardly played any football this last year.
 
Appreciate your time though. Keep up.
 
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