Open Mic: [OM King]..Premonition .. |
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AshleyKaos 
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Joined: 11 October 2013 Status: Offline Points: 2521 Crew: Tha Syndicate  Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 28-63-3 Form: LWLLNQ |
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 Topic: [OM King]..Premonition ..Posted: 12 February 2016 at 11:00am |
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Divine droppin Meta's... On some Jesus flow spittin clever... I walk on water of tears people cry They are so blind to a world full of lies Epic like the one who died ! Then he came to rise in three days time! My divine ties gave me a message... One Straight from the heaven's... Send you to Hell if neglected! The end times are near, if you believe have no fear.... Yet see that the signs are here loud and clear! You know ? The Twin Towers and Syria ? Nukes in Hiroshima..?. I had predicted them... Folks were not listenin' Now look at the world that we we livin' in! You must repent of sin or burn in the hell that were in He will part the sky and arrive on clouds in decent We will all kneel to introduce him in unison.. But when the battle begins is when Beauty ends.. Like the fucking clash of the Titans It will be bloody and it will be frightening... These were Gods Words.. Cant believe what i've heard... He came to me one night .... It was such a luminous sight It was to bright of a light. I could not see his face... The look of it is hard to say But these were the visions that i saw in my mind! I convulsed and cried the whole time! These words are not mine He made me receit what he said... My eyes rolled into the back of my head... Then he fled..but i can never forget I am a modern day prophetess |
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NUMBER 1 FEMALE MC TILL THE DEATH OF ME
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Sammy
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Beacon of Light Joined: 24 October 2015 Status: Offline Points: 2227 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-1 Form: LNW |
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Posted: 15 February 2016 at 5:19pm |
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this was a great read. It was a very literal take on the topic. From what i gathered a woman (you perhaps) was given visions and a message to share. The first segment was i found very interesting in that you started off with almost a "battle-esque" delivery then it was almost like you told yourself "hold up this is an open mic topical, let me switch this shit up, lol". I also dug the historical reference scattered about. Overall a solid effort that deserves more read. salute.
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SELF ACTIVATE
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Joined: 05 February 2016 Location: Kemet Status: Offline Points: 1389 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-0 Form: WL |
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Posted: 15 February 2016 at 6:14pm |
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This was actually one of my favorite submissions thus far.
You didn't really think outside the box in terms of your subject matter, instead you chose to take the topic head on. Normally being this straight forward might be seen as taking the easy way out, but in the case of your verse it was actually a refreshing interpretation of the task at hand. You had a pretty smooth flow the entire way through. I don't recall getting stuck or tripped up on any of your words. Your vocabulary wasn't too complex, in fact, it was relatively ordinary, but in a way that allowed you to paint solid pictures of different events. In terms of your imagery...well, it was like debris...again, little shards of different events all related to the central idea. Lyrically, I enjoyed this piece. In my opinion I think you did a really nice job adding flesh to this topic. You gave it life. Good job! Oh, yeah, and before I go...The pink font...given the catastrophic sequence of events unfolding in your verse...Ehhh...doesn't quite work or make sense. I don't think you can put a girlie touch on death, damned nation, or the end of all things. I mean, a pink apocalypse? Edited by SELF ACTIVATE - 15 February 2016 at 6:20pm |
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