Open Mic: Perceived Duality [KOTM] |
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CHAIN 
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Joined: 14 November 2006 Status: Offline Points: 2769  Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 8-4-0 Form: LWWLWW |
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 Topic: Perceived Duality [KOTM]Posted: 13 November 2016 at 3:44pm |
 The righteous middle men were leftists... puzzled Navigating through the Yin and Yang of the hustle. A whirlpool of duality shallower than puddles The thin line between a cobra clutch and a cuddle. Bear hug a snake, it aint the snake who got disarmed The wolf in wool sweaters claiming hate is not haram. And love is not kosher holding Bibles & Qurans Telling you your rival ain't the riffle toting dons. From Sodom & Gomorrah to the rye in Babylon Will we burn slowly for siding with what's wrong? Telling you it's peace while they iron fence your lawn Starving you to death inside their restaurants. Buying up the bombs blaming ISIS and Islam They make you choose sides, you can't ID who's the con. Vexed, stuck in Gaza with death's subsidizer Conveniently ignored like meth drug suppliers. In Hades, the abyss of the matrix, with no glitch Where Satan and his pits boil uranium enriched. I heard that grass grows on radiated cliffs The pastures are green but it's the same river Styx. All is one, even if aliens exist Respect the interplay of what is framed within this pic. Play with it if you will, relate to what's familiar And changes they will kill ya and place you in your crypt. Boom! |
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Crimson Juice
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Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3263 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW |
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Posted: 13 November 2016 at 7:04pm |
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Nice..
I loved the comparison words used here,(whirlpool/puddle,clutch/cuddle), and thats without adding (ying/yang),interesting couplets i thought,and that's just the start of this piece,on the whole your title of duality throughout this piece was on point,and like a race horse stayed on course and never veered off (or should I say reared),it was vibrant and detailed,without being overwhelmed with a wall of words to get the depiction,plus there was the bonus of the factual elements within this verse too, and all whilst dropping knowledge on us in the process,this is a real standout verse here,which i enjoyed in it's entirety it was well crafted too from start to finish,this is going to be hard to top I personally believe,and if I dare to say here i do have 1 tiny niggle with this piece,(and this is me being a jealous prick here..lol.) it could've done with a few multi's,(nah just kidding),solid work here CHAIN,but you know this already, Ripe read...peace. |
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"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance". |
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alicewonder
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Joined: 09 May 2015 Location: uk Status: Offline Points: 653 Crew: Kratos Kind Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-1-2 Form: WWLNN |
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Posted: 13 November 2016 at 10:04pm |
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This was classic Chain. I loved the detailed and relevant depiction of the image with the consistent, obvious topic of duality. The highlight were the numerous references, such as the snake and Hades one, incorporated into present, societal but also individual conflicts. I also appreciate the great balance between those rather ancient type of references and current issues.
I heard that grass grows on radiated cliffs The pastures are green but it's the same river Styx. I loved that bar for its rather straightforward and effective wording combined with references I mentioned earlier. The ending was very well done, somewhat 'closing the circle' of the contrasting patterns which you described so eloquently in the segments. But it's also encouraging the reader to reflect once again. Btw, schemes and flow were great per usual and I really enjoyed some of the rather subtle multis you incorporated this time. Thanks for sharing and I agree with Crim here, it's definitely a tough one to compete against.
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Sammy
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Beacon of Light Joined: 24 October 2015 Status: Offline Points: 2227 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-1 Form: LNW |
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Posted: 14 November 2016 at 1:17am |
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"The pastures are green but it's the same river Styx. "
watching the game but i'll be back at halftime to elaborate but DAMN!!
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Sammy
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Beacon of Light Joined: 24 October 2015 Status: Offline Points: 2227 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-1 Form: LNW |
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Posted: 14 November 2016 at 2:54pm |
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The smorgasbord of rapid fire imagery, allusions, and the clever turn of phrase - yeah this was classic Chain!
So I caught a strong sense of political commentary in this piece and the social climate in general. The content seems to be the popular trend as I see both of us kind of touching base on it, but I love the conclusion here. Again similar to mine, u demand that readers draw their own conclusion/perspective. But it's so appropriate this time because of how well it work WITH the picture. And I dig that little meta moment at the end ha! Ultimately this was a timely verse wrapped in an examination on perspective, which again, was what I was trying to do so the similarity is there. But with the risk of losing this challenge, I felt ur use of imagery and expertly wove connotation made me want to rewrite my verse because of how potent they were. Even whimsical (possibly to u) things like "bear hugging a snake" conjured lots of symbolism and connotations! River stixx line. Babylon line we're all standouts to me. Strong contender. |
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Endeavor
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Wiggle wiggle said the bun that jiggle Joined: 03 April 2009 Location: Your kitchen Status: Offline Points: 10000102 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 5-4-0 Form: WWLWLW |
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Posted: 14 November 2016 at 6:49pm |
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Man, it's difficult to not like a verse from you. It's even more difficult to find a flaw. Whether it's conceptual, structural or... In general. Every single verse you spew has mad quotables and it's getting to the point where it's annoying. Simply because at some time, I won't have anything nice to say anymore lol. Finna make me go and just say "dope shit" and leave it at that, hah.
Anyway, the piece! I can only echo what others prior to me have said but I would like to add that I have a different favorite segment. It starts at the "bear hug" and ends with the "ID the con." Especially this was mad fire:
This is an absolute monster. It's incredibly smart and contains truth from start to finish. Brilliantly done, bruh. For the rest... The flow is smooth af, but that's trademark CHAIN... Good stuff!
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#Bananas
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Lord Puente
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Final Boss Joined: 05 July 2016 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 1814  Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 4-2-0 Form: LWWWLW |
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Posted: 16 November 2016 at 10:59pm |
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this shit was fire man, this is best one ive seen so far this month, and ive seen all but one. everything is on point. im fairly new, don't see too much from you but when ever I do I always read (I suck with feed, some times too busy to give it what it deserves).
"The wolf in wool sweaters claiming hate is not haram. And love is not kosher holding Bibles & Qurans Telling you your rival ain't the riffle toting dons. From Sodom & Gomorrah to the rye in Babylon " that was straight crack and nothing less. the words, schemes eveyrhting here especially in that quote was top notch and nothing less. dope fucking drop. I think you got this month in the bag.
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HI-Z
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Joined: 27 June 2016 Status: Offline Points: 196 Crew: Alter Egos |
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Posted: 17 November 2016 at 12:46am |
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Oh damn!!! Lol nice pice, not much left to say but congratulations.
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spume corrupt
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Joined: 27 April 2011 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 3163 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 20-7-1 Form: WLWLLL |
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Posted: 17 November 2016 at 10:34pm |
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All this admiration with zero constructive criticism has got to be getting boring?
You know me bruv, I mainly doggy paddle around the surface...... I don't wanna be having my mind bent out of shape Criticism halted..... Opening four was just crazy wording, mad Clever Kosher line was a little predictable by your standards Restaurants line was dope Fuck it I can't even fault this, it just gets better with every read Fluid rhyming and dope use of wording were the highlights for me Damn you for making me dive deeper than I can usually be bothered Respect for making me feel like I wanted to though Maybe someone could help you improve Sorry though fam, I just don't think am qualified |
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SELF ACTIVATE
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Joined: 05 February 2016 Location: Kemet Status: Offline Points: 1389 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-0 Form: WL |
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Posted: 22 November 2016 at 7:31pm |
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This was heavy.
Hype ass verse my guy. I really dug your wordplay in this joint and how your concepts weaved in an out of one another to create a larger overall theme that alluded to the picture quite well. Plus, I can never not dig a verse that's loaded with religious and mythological references as well as current issues. Great entry CHAIN. Shit was flame. |
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iLL ScriptureZ
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Joined: 13 May 2014 Location: NJ Status: Offline Points: 2477 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 11-5-1 Form: LWWLWW |
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Posted: 23 November 2016 at 2:14pm |
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"Navigating through the Yin and Yang of the hustle.
The thin line between a cobra clutch and a cuddle. From Sodom & Gomorrah to the rye in Babylon Will we burn slowly for siding with what's wrong? Telling you it's peace while they iron fence your lawn Starving you to death inside their restaurants. Buying up the bombs blaming ISIS and Islam They make you choose sides, you can't ID who's the con." The homie CHAIN back at it again with the ridiculousness. This shit went HAM. Everything from wordplay to to flow and word choice was top notch. I was shocked when you didn't keep the same matching rhyme throughout. A little flip from the norm from you. Always a pleasure of viewing your work. |
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