Open Mic: Poetically off the Chain---ft Chain

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PoeticAssassin View Drop Down
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    Posted: 24 January 2012 at 3:18pm
Poetically off the Chain


Poetic Assassin

My lyrics reach the top above the clouds mountain range
I descend on the fakest holdin the keys countless game
Walk through the fountains to seperate mud from rain
Feet ain't getting wet yet, aided from blood and pain
I'm focused while my enemies still refuse to change
Smokin' the sweet erb high while I polish my fangs...
You see....something happens everytime I write my name
.......Another rapper dies talking about ice and chains
Fight for change but the projects still littered with illereate
Like its cool to hold me back and only talk about killin' shit
But you ain't killin' shit...only the illest will and I'm feelin' it
Put my book away to hide the knowledge like I'm stealin' it
Yes I was dealin' shit...even gripped heat to start pealin' wit
But do I have to stay the same or begin to start healin' this
Nah..I abolished that cause the ink flowin' bombarded the gate
Scopin the hardest these darts always reguarded as great
Pardon my stake but it remains hard to be ardent in place
Cuz I have the eyes of a lion and the heart of the brave...


Chain

Greed intertwined with the heat of being in a bind 
Creep through my mind while deleting all benign…
Seeds from my psyche I feed on when I’m kind…
To the people on my side so I cheat on the divine
With creatures bleeding something which seemingly ain’t wine 
I drink it nonetheless, knowing Jesus would decline…
All they had to offer which was evil re-defined 
Offered me their flesh, now I’m feasting on the swine 
Losing all my bread to my demons on the grind 
Here to rock my cradle till I’m sleeping in a pine…
Box, boxing angels that can read between the lines 
Me tryna see them made them see that I was blind 
Hated being home ‘cause the streets could make me shine 
Home was a place where they beefed like all the time 
My beefs were the bomb ‘cause the precinct called them crimes 
My mom found bullets in my jeans and couldn’t find…
Words to describe her grief, leaving her behind…
In her seat, I just skated to peep my nigga’s nine
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J Sass View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote J Sass Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 January 2012 at 3:56pm
nice drop yall.....
 
 
yall did a good job.....Poet you held ya own and ya shyt was makin alotta sense i was feelin it..
 
Chain...ya flow was on point as always....i swear this is not ya hottest shyt...but i still seen where you was goin with it....good shyt fam
 
 
 
 
 
 
Sass
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote -XTC- Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 January 2012 at 6:47pm
this was pretty dope.. PA.. I wasn't really feelin ya flow.. It was ok in the beginning but you didn't transition smooth enough in a few.. I mean possible rewording could've avoided that.. Maybe a few multi's here nd there.. But ultimately it was a good read..

Chain your shit was dooope.. I liked how you kept the same rhyme scheme throughout the verse.. That's pretty tight..

Good drop fellas..
Slick back in this shit.. time to put a hold on commotion
"See-sick'ness" in the mix cause I flow like the ocean..

..Slick..
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Swift Styles View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Swift Styles Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 January 2012 at 7:15pm
With creatures bleeding something which seemingly ain’t wine 
I drink it nonetheless, knowing Jesus would decline…


ahhha dopee.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Rameez Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 January 2012 at 10:25pm
PA - as i read the bars stand out the most to me was your first 2 bars and the 6th bar... these bars got my attention... rhyming was ok, some missmatch multi but overall good drop

impressive way of keeping the same rhyme scheme in the whole verse and flow was smooth...I also liked your 3rd bar that stand out most to me..good drop
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote J504 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 January 2012 at 7:57pm
First off, dope collab right here. Yall meshed well together, everything felt right side by side.  PA, ya coulda tightened yours up a bit in places, there were still some lines that just flowed nicely though, just sayin' here and there it needed a bit of tweakin.  CHAIN, as pointed out, it wasn't as in-depth on yours as your single Open Mics but you were on-point with how you meshed it with his style. 
 
PA, the best part about collabin with CHAIN, is he's good about vibin'. It's not always the same with each person, when I collabed with him it was totally different then say him and Cal's collabin and to me that's what makes it fun to read and be involved in.
 
I have a feelin that if yall collabed a few more times it'd get doper and doper (which yall should do). For a first time collab, this was nice.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote PoeticAssassin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 January 2012 at 4:32pm
Appreciate the feedback everyone. I'll return the favor shortly.  Oh and if anyone wants to collab on something hit me up and I'll get at it.
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