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_HolloW_ 
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Joined: 01 April 2007 Location: Ask me Status: Offline Points: 278 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-2-0 Form: LWL |
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 Topic: S4R #1Posted: 20 September 2007 at 7:19pm |
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My entire life is a struggle, I'm tryin' to juggle it all/
While climbin' through the rubble, tryin' not to fumble the ball/
While I stumble, knees buckle; but, I won't stumble an' halt/
I got too much ridin' on it ~ NOT to be triumphant or fall/
This is pissin' me off, though ~ What's the cost of victory?/
A loathesome trinity ~ Woe, bitterness an' constant misery/
Literally, an infinity of torment. I have lost the energy/
To be a example of sacrifice, but I remain God's epitome/
This is a martyr's symphony, for those of you who listen/
It's a ballad of my pain, a noel made for crucifixion/
Suicidal impulses pushin' for me to choose submission/
So long, that any more, I'm startin' to lose ambitions/
Replaced wit' gruesome wishes, scenes of self-inflicted/
Mutilation that mascerades itself as views of hell in visions/
Any more I look forward an' toward it wit direct intentions/
To use the psychotic thoughts to help my self-ascension/
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Spent six months hurtin' who I shoulda been supportin'/
But I was nervous, I was stupid, I was pushin' for abortion/ |
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Mackie
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Joined: 20 August 2005 Location: MK Status: Offline Points: 1505 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 45-38-4 Form: LLWLNW |
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Posted: 20 September 2007 at 8:53pm |
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novice
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G-Pfeif
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Joined: 19 June 2004 Location: Maryland Status: Offline Points: 2541 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 20-7-0 Form: WWWLLW |
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Posted: 20 September 2007 at 11:30pm |
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ama...
content is ok... rhymin is decent... but no real multies... no advanced rhymes really |
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<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v313/G-Pfeif/SuckaMCTo-DoList.png" />
"I'll put a Loss to ya name like a Mexican City" "Ill Put an L to ya EGO like them building blocks" |
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2smooth
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Joined: 25 October 2004 Status: Offline Points: 1930 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 36-5-2 Form: WWWWNW |
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Posted: 21 September 2007 at 10:21am |
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high ama... this (as most of ya' drops have been) was pretty nice... you got that easy flow to it, vocab is nice too... stay active, keep battlin' an' keep showin' skill like this an' you def. have the potential to get pro quickly...
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Point Blank
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Joined: 20 May 2005 Status: Offline Points: 7234 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 92-27-5 Form: WWNWWN |
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Posted: 21 September 2007 at 10:39am |
Are You Blind? |
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_HolloW_
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Joined: 01 April 2007 Location: Ask me Status: Offline Points: 278 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-2-0 Form: LWL |
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Posted: 21 September 2007 at 12:18pm |
Personally, I thought I had multi's (though I use more inner-rhyme than multi's a lotta the time), but why use multi's do decide rank? I mean, seriously there are a LOTTA legitimately professional rappers out who couldn't spell multi, much less use 'em. Or, is that just your personal preference?
Second, what would you classify as 'advanced rhyme'?
EDIT: Also, aside from that, thanks for the ranking to you and smooth. Edited by _HolloW_ - 21 September 2007 at 12:18pm |
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Spent six months hurtin' who I shoulda been supportin'/
But I was nervous, I was stupid, I was pushin' for abortion/ |
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Kay B
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Joined: 28 June 2005 Location: Watford Status: Offline Points: 9428 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 58-32-0 Form: LLWWWW |
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Posted: 21 September 2007 at 12:35pm |
Huh?.... |
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Demonic
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X Fade II Joined: 06 August 2004 Location: Cardiff Status: Offline Points: 3463 Crew: XFade: Phoenix Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-4-0 Form: LLWLLW |
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Posted: 21 September 2007 at 12:56pm |
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phief is ranking without reading verses clearly
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G-Pfeif
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Joined: 19 June 2004 Location: Maryland Status: Offline Points: 2541 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 20-7-0 Form: WWWLLW |
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Posted: 21 September 2007 at 1:15pm |
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yea my bad.. was late when i read it... scratch the no multis part... dunno where i was goin with that one...
i think i just wasnt feelin the last 4 bars and stuck my thought process on that... i still give him AMA tho Edited by G-Pfeif - 21 September 2007 at 1:16pm |
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<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v313/G-Pfeif/SuckaMCTo-DoList.png" />
"I'll put a Loss to ya name like a Mexican City" "Ill Put an L to ya EGO like them building blocks" |
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Mackie
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Posted: 21 September 2007 at 1:22pm |
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^^word.. tion/sion rhymes are wack
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_HolloW_
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Joined: 01 April 2007 Location: Ask me Status: Offline Points: 278 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-2-0 Form: LWL |
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Posted: 21 September 2007 at 1:29pm |
That's Jesus, but were you referrin' to multi's or somethin different when you were talkin' about "advanced rhymes?" Like to know for my own benefit later on what you classify as an advanced rhyme. Thanks
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Spent six months hurtin' who I shoulda been supportin'/
But I was nervous, I was stupid, I was pushin' for abortion/ |
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Mackie
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Joined: 20 August 2005 Location: MK Status: Offline Points: 1505 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 45-38-4 Form: LLWLNW |
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Posted: 21 September 2007 at 6:42pm |
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i think like i said hes talkin bout the tion sion rhymes, cause they basically filla the amount of words u can rhyme with tion is endless
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Fatal
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...Wicked Wit Wordplay... Joined: 08 March 2005 Location: Chicago Status: Offline Points: 6441 Crew: The Dynasty Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 44-4-2 Form: WNNWWW |
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Posted: 22 September 2007 at 1:22am |
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Ama...flow was nice, and content was coo...ya not Pro tho homie...keep up tho bruh...
...1
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G-Pfeif
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Posted: 22 September 2007 at 1:49am |
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mackie hit it on the head... a lot of tion - sion type rhymes especially toward the end... there are a million of em...
you do show potential.. so keep at it |
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<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v313/G-Pfeif/SuckaMCTo-DoList.png" />
"I'll put a Loss to ya name like a Mexican City" "Ill Put an L to ya EGO like them building blocks" |
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G-Pfeif wrote: