Open Mic: Seasonal Sickness (VM) |
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fuckoff
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Joined: 10 April 2013 Location: fucksville Status: Offline Points: 3074 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 27-6-0 Form: WWWWWL |
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Topic: Seasonal Sickness (VM)Posted: 15 January 2014 at 3:51pm |
![]() The Law Nigma Fuck Smoothtung ![]() A new season for the those that have died and the old seasoned souls A beacon of hope, the birth of a new freedom and home justifies a reason to grow From old roots that petal out in the cycle of life (pedal) then blossom into the beautiful art.. This poetry that we write These roses and thorns emerge and we create the beast and the beauty and the beauty of our beast inside can never be released as a movie It's truly, the spring 'reign' that lays down the most porous world in great thoughts That will make the "Dryest Feet" wetter than a gorgeous girl or made shots (Feat) You better enjoy this gleam and glamor cause your gonna yearn for this 'sleek lust' when the roots of the earth spins the stem on it's axis and turns the degree up ![]() I'm the miracle seed that's an heir to existence, and bare are your feet as you barrel to visit A Dairy Queen, treated to caramel blizzards, you're there with your teachers, your parents, its vivid.. You're daring to dream while I'm merrily gleaming, you'll care when revealed with the terror it teaches I'm what turns the air to the breeze you're transparently breathing A seasonal parent of Egypt where the scarabs our Eagle I'm a Pharaoh and Genie whose been compared to a demon The heat that tears your cerebral into perilous lesions I'm the tarot that reads of abandoned hope in it's maker A cancer growth when my rays invade, corrosive to layers And the sting exposes it's nature like when Frodo's in danger ![]() suck the light out of life, turn it a crimson red make em all fall, in this autumnal bloodshed the funs finished, give you floods, mud, wet bring forth the hour of darkness.. i force the sun set give the world dementia, you can forget summer the bitter winds, sour ya taste before the great slumber braced for hunger, i rust away at this old world grab a blanket.. an watch every petal decay, fold, curl early onset of devastation, dishearten the most positive thinker i make the world sleep.. before the solace of winter ![]() My.. Sprout-tipped stout limbs are now stripped Brown twigs are ground-fixed now as my boughs chip How slick can bound sticks get 'til I lean over and fall.. I'm the way a crowd gets when it tweaks over a call Watch me post-up with robe, glove and sickle.. If I'm dying then I'm bringing the hole, shovel and fiddle I'm embracing death like the weight of the 4 seasons Shaking the nest of fate and it's poor demons And digging forth in the earths core for well-molds Cuz I'm ready but springing the first roar when the bell tolls. |
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Manc
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Joined: 02 April 2010 Status: Offline Points: 7032 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 82-4-2 Form: WWWWNW |
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Posted: 15 January 2014 at 3:58pm |
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Love it!!! Fantastic idea lads. Really love the way you were all each a season. Very original and a great concept. Each brought there own style and you all gelled so nicely too. Smooth, your multis in the opening set were off the chain!!! Brilliant drop lads. Much respect!!
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Smoothtung
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Joined: 09 December 2012 Status: Offline Points: 2222 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 25-8-3 Form: WWWLWN |
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Posted: 15 January 2014 at 4:21pm |
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we appreciate that buddy
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Though you never even had the chance to witness it |
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Concrete
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Joined: 02 September 2013 Location: Oslo Status: Offline Points: 1424 Crew: Tha Syndicate Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 33-6-0 Form: WWWWWW |
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Posted: 15 January 2014 at 6:02pm |
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Yeah, the OM section could use more conceptual collabs.
Yall brought different styles to the mix and combined them together in a dope set indeed.
The season idea was kinda clever also. Quick feedie for the seasons: Spring, sets the tone aights, overall really decent merging of keystyle and poetry . Easy\catchy to read, not much to critize expect perhaps one thing "and the beauty of our beast inside can never be released as a movie" where the beauty\beast transition was hella-cool but the "released as a movie" felt a bit out of place imo. Summer, damn that's some elegantly heavy lines waiting to be unraveled. Vocab is there and effective use of imagery, somehow you made the summer seem the most unpleasant season! Autumn; pretty much onpoint with the whole damn thing, slick setups fav bars bring forth the hour of darkness.. i force the sun set give the world dementia, you can forget summer early onset of devastation, dishearten the most positive thinker i make the world sleep.. before the solace of winter Winter; also quite slick, original way of wording\rhyming, sets a matching tone for this season "I'm embracing death like the weight of the 4 seasons" <-- dope Smooooth overall. Props to all involved.. and by all means keep more of this coming. |
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The Law
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God of the Minions Joined: 15 June 2013 Status: Offline Points: 5504 ![]() Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 64-8-8 Form: LNWWWW |
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Posted: 15 January 2014 at 10:23pm |
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appreciate the feedback.
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Brotha Goose
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Joined: 07 July 2013 Location: San Diego, CA Status: Offline Points: 2318 Crew: Kratos Kind Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 10-10-0 Form: LWLWLL |
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Posted: 15 January 2014 at 10:29pm |
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Damn, y'all went in! The concept itself is a stroke of genius....had to be Nigma....lol
Dope... from Law's fire power battle style to Smooth's Internal combustion show. Nigma with that imagery and vocab to FO's signature flow. Im impressed here fellas, gud shit. |
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fuckoff
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Joined: 10 April 2013 Location: fucksville Status: Offline Points: 3074 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 27-6-0 Form: WWWWWL |
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Posted: 15 January 2014 at 11:55pm |
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props everyone btw love that opener law
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Point Blank
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Posted: 16 January 2014 at 12:19am |
It was initially my idea but these guys expanded on it a lot more than I could have. I've wanted to do this for a while and was originally gonna be in on this but let smooth take my place. This came out doper than I expected, everyone brought their own style and the way the underlying theme of life/death ran throughout this piece was crazy. The metaphors and imagery in every verse were top quality, classic for sure Edited by Point Blank - 16 January 2014 at 12:35am |
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JBrenn
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Posted: 16 January 2014 at 1:40am |
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Love the concept.
Everyone brought the heat here. The opener is my favorite. Flow stayed on point. Great great drop. |
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The Law
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God of the Minions Joined: 15 June 2013 Status: Offline Points: 5504 ![]() Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 64-8-8 Form: LNWWWW |
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Posted: 16 January 2014 at 4:25am |
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I really enjoyed writing this OM. It turned out well and I felt we all did a great job at melding our different styles and making this work together. As PB said the metaphors and imagery from the drop shined really nice. Dope shit guys. We have to do another very soon.
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fuckoff
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Posted: 16 January 2014 at 10:59pm |
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bump wrtf
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Flossaurus
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Posted: 17 January 2014 at 12:07pm |
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Nice and poetry like from all verses. Can't give proper feed right now but dip concept. Sort of felt
Like you all came at it with a similar approach. Would've liked to see a lil diff spin on things but you All brought that elemental feeling to it, so I was diggin it anyways. Stay up |
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Allow me to retort, you cowards is just learnin the shit we been teachin
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Trizzy Tre
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Posted: 17 January 2014 at 4:09pm |
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This was a dope read fellas. Good to see ya'll still droppin solid collabo's....
Law I thought your opening bar was slick as fuck and realy pulled me in as a reader. Your wording is always spot on and bar to bar is just smooth. Your inners were a nice touch...
Nigma you def have a style all your own and you attack each concept very differently. Always comes off with a fresh feel to it. FO you suck...lol...jokes jokes....you pull off that short bar style so well and your schemes are dope. I liked the way you ended your verse. Smoothtung I never checked your work out but this was a cool verse from you and you held your own at the end of this collabo...
well done fellas...
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The Law
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God of the Minions Joined: 15 June 2013 Status: Offline Points: 5504 ![]() Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 64-8-8 Form: LNWWWW |
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Posted: 18 January 2014 at 7:47pm |
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We appreciate the feedback.
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BiGGz
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Joined: 02 January 2014 Location: 207/617 Status: Offline Points: 293 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-1-2 Form: WLWNN |
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Posted: 18 January 2014 at 8:08pm |
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This Piece Was Amazing on Two Levels..
1. All of The Writers Are Talented. 2. How Well You All Executed This Together, Piece By Piece Was Outstanding. Law: Your Flow and Execution of Continuation in Multies, and Imagery Was The Best Way to Start This. Very, Very Well Written, The Structure is Perfect For The Bars, Your Direction is Immaculately Consistent. Top Notch Writing, Many Props. Nigma: i Really Love Your Delivery of Your Imagery in Your Piece. Really Dig Your Rhyme Scheme, Strong Inners/Transitions. Without Needing to Over Pack Bars With Multies. Loved Your Closer Too. Good Shit. FO: i Also Really Dig Your Delivery of Style Here. Your Imagery is Really Strong, Without Feeling Too Complex to Grab. Your Short Bars Also Make Your Flow Feel Natural. and Some More Strong Multies Would've Been Nice. But i Like The Way You Drop a Few Lines, and Tie It All in Nicely On a Good Ending Rhyme. Good Shit Here. Smooth: Never Read Any of Your Work Before. Really Loved This. Your Verse All Ties Together So Nicely. You Have Consistent on Count Multies, and Even Tie Them Into Ending Rhymes. Smoothly at That. Really Elegant Writing Style, I Dig Your Flow Aswell. Your Wording Really Works Well For Your Imagery. Your Verse, Although Honestly Looks The Most Simplistic, is Probably My Favorite. Many Props to You All Fellas. Nice Piece.
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Nigma
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Posted: 18 January 2014 at 9:36pm |
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Smooth ended the piece perfectly too. First time reading it through. Well done and thanks for the feed everyone
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