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ARmy
Newbie
Joined: 04 November 2007 Location: 302 Status: Offline Points: 19 |
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Topic: The Natural Warrior [RANK IT!]Posted: 04 November 2007 at 2:11pm |
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...Watch the visuals, Samurai swords slash your back while others throw rocks to get rid of you... |
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Fatal
Superior Member
...Wicked Wit Wordplay... Joined: 08 March 2005 Location: Chicago Status: Offline Points: 6441 Crew: The Dynasty Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 44-4-2 Form: WNNWWW |
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Posted: 04 November 2007 at 2:28pm |
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Nice piece...i was thinkin this was gonna be a typical wack newbie spit, but was suprised... The verse was a nice read...lines were stretched and the flow suffered slightly...considering the fact that your new here, id have to see you spit consistantly, so for now im ranking you Novice...stick around and show you consistantly drop decent pieces and you'l get ya rank bumped in no time...stay up
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ARmy
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Joined: 04 November 2007 Location: 302 Status: Offline Points: 19 |
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Posted: 04 November 2007 at 2:31pm |
Thanks, gawd. I've always had problems in text with flow.
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G-Pfeif
Superior Member
Joined: 19 June 2004 Location: Maryland Status: Offline Points: 2541 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 20-7-0 Form: WWWLLW |
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Posted: 04 November 2007 at 9:37pm |
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im gonna agree.. id say ur a high novice.... but ur lines are a
little stretched and your wordchoice is kinda lacking.. you choose
words more because they rhyme instead of what they add to meaning and
flow...
work on structure, flow, and evening out your lines... and try to add some creative punches and you'll see much improvement |
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<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v313/G-Pfeif/SuckaMCTo-DoList.png" />
"I'll put a Loss to ya name like a Mexican City" "Ill Put an L to ya EGO like them building blocks" |
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proliferate
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Joined: 22 November 2007 Status: Offline Points: 16 |
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Posted: 30 November 2007 at 5:23pm |
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not bad, formatting could use a lil work. wouldn't mind hearing ya spit it over a beat though at madness:
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