Open Mic: The Prophecy

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    Posted: 08 September 2013 at 12:46am
The Prophecy

"Beware the beast man, for he is the devil's
pawn. Alone among God's primates, he kills
for sport, or lust or greed. Yes, he will
murder his brother to possess his brother's
land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for
he will make a desert of his home and yours.
Shun him. Drive him back into his jungle
lair: For he is the harbinger of death"


The water glistens crimson as the sun is rising
Nothing like the coming light, at once it brightens, dusk horizons
Touch the iris, see the seeping steam emitting up and skywards
Lovely pattern that grabs and has us up and atter
I'm the master of our tribe, design the monthly patterns
Ration corn, surviving all our coming battles
Nothing damps us, nothing bad can come to man who understands there's something after
Fact is, no one comes and lasts
They crumble and succumb to blackness
Us though, we're the sun in action
Lunar light like dungeon lanterns

Soveirgn, self sufficient
And we need no help or gifts
From those who walk the outter limits
Since our food is grown in ground
And in pools swimmin round are fishes
Proudly fishing, passin down our wisdom
It's our crowds rendition with unspoken vows to give it
See it's peace and utopia
At least until the omen comes
The noxious foes who walk on the ocean
Common folk are not to know the topics which the prophets spoke of

Our herds and firs will burn, I'm certain love has been slaughtered
I heard his words which murmured murder, blood on the water

And so I counted three suns and then I rose for its rising
Saw the cloud attached to treetrunk on the boat they were driving
Our people woke to find a sight we know that no one could hide from
We saw the God's on the horizion, gave a moment of silence
Three of these marine machines and we were happy to see them
So named La Pinta, then The Nina, and the Santa Maria
People ran up to greet them, patter of feet as we managed to meet them
Some of us laugh, some stare
The hats, the hair, the pants they wear, advanced appearance
Fear sweeps in the moment local tribesman Copa's stabbed and murdered
Knee deep with his hands in fists, brandishing his ample gifts
He spent his last ten minutes gathering a package for his acrid guests

Half our tribe now ran and left, some savage man would grab their wrist 
While brandishing a magic stick, instant later hands would twitch, hacked to bits
Left us beaten half to death
As hazards end, they grabbed what they could take back to their boats
They claimed us as their slaves, and this land as their own
A label they were taking onwards back to their home

In the coming months of freedom something stirred in the night
Lifes speed seemed to rise with the evenings of light
Helped me clean out my vision like it's sleep from my eyes
Familiar grief in my mind, see them deep on horizon
The Red and the White..
My tribes way of living was ending tonight
White men fufilling whats said by our wisest
Yet they mention no lie
No pretend or disguises
You bend to the deity heavenly rights
Or get sent off to die by the end of the night

With the chill of cold on my back, I am baffled
They kill us for gold and the land for expansion
Belittled by the facts a fellow citizen was stabbed
Because the wicked went and grabbed what we would give them if they'd asked
So I am mimiking the sand the way I'm filling up with passion
I advanced into the distance to the captain and resiliently I asked
"Is you ship at dock in bandages?
With it you've walked a path
To which is drifting off in blackness"
I then proclaimed myself as leader of a land that was smoldering
He cleaved off sleeve on, amputating the hand I was holding

I'll be the among the first, they let us die
Such vengeance, just a genocide
And 95% of my descendants will be next in line
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Nigma Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 September 2013 at 12:47am
Props to anyone who reads the whole thing, I know this is longer.. well looks longer. It's just more spread out
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Cuba Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 September 2013 at 4:49pm
Insane
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote levy420 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 September 2013 at 4:56pm
this was sick nigma imagery was on point not much more i can say solid drop yeah it was a long read but u had grasped my attention from begining to start keep it up this was dope
I'll explode at the drop of a dime like proximity mines
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Crusade Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 September 2013 at 12:30am
Great verse, but some words did not rhyme as good. It is really hard to know how you can rhyme two words that do nearly rhyme to each other and follow the melody of the flow. Props on the vocab and imagery used throughout the verse.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote CHAIN Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 September 2013 at 11:21am

First off;
Fuck your bars. 
This post is aimed at the whole #TeamNoFeed #NoFeedGang 
Y’all wanna post 300 bars every week without ever feeding anybody shit?
Are you serious?
I can live with Nigma doing that, ‘cause he’s actually nice.
But the rest of you fools flooding the boards with all that wack ass shit…stop it

And I get that most of you new dudes are aliases and a bunch of 12 year olds.
But there’s rules to this shit.
If you’re not breaking bread then you are not sitting at the table…you can’t eat.

and if you feel like this is me getting my e-thug on…speak on it

yeah, I’m looking at certain L.I mouseketeers.

+Sick-Witted+
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote spume corrupt Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 September 2013 at 12:08pm
Nice speech here chain...no feed though

I did read all of this Nigs! Gonna be honest and say it's not my kind of thing
However the skill is evident an others might love it
Keep up bro

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote CHAIN Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 September 2013 at 12:50pm
yeah, that was the point, goof
+Sick-Witted+
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote spume corrupt Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 September 2013 at 1:41pm
Ha ha I see now
Cocksucker
You on Nigs nuts here though. ..fuckin yuk mouth
Laugh it off maingoofer

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote CHAIN Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 September 2013 at 2:04pm
nah, i just threw a pie in his face in his own thread and told him 'fuck his bars'
you must got me confused with a certain LI cheerleader, i don't spit shine dick breh
 
dumb bitch   
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote spume corrupt Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 September 2013 at 2:33pm
Good looks on the pie though

Chain pack a mean PIE
I ain't fuckin wit that
Clown

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Trizzy Tre Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 September 2013 at 5:31pm

Phew....dopeness all the way Nig. Shit was ill bruh...

Your schemes were bananas and the flow came off so effortless. Barz were smooth too the whole way through and just your angles to your ideas are on point.
 
And yes I did read the whole way through. lol
 
 
 
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Nigma Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 September 2013 at 5:49pm
Word at chain, I'll take that pie in the face homie. My feed game has been slacking lately and I know it. I dont leave one or two lines when I feed something, I break it down and do a thorough job
Just haven't had the time lately, or found the inspiration to make the time yknow? Truly appreciate everyone reading this
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote -Que- Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 September 2013 at 5:15am
Whuttup again my Nigma!! LOL...I can't get tired of sayin that. Be like..."Thats my Nigma right'dere!!"

I see you playin around with offset lines. You got that shit down too.I liked "The steam emmiting up skywards" phrase lol...killed it.

"Lifes speed seemed to rise with the evenings of light
Helped me clean out my vision like it's sleep from my eyes"
Very smooth

I like the twist at the end , where you leave us to wonder about the next generations to come. I also like the murmured/blood on the water line. I see you really be into those visions when you use such vocab. Good work.

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Kiki Spirez Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 September 2013 at 6:49pm
First off, good vocab, very creative, something different. So you get a plus 1 for me for this anyway, before going in to depth. 

As far as content and the rhyme scheme, I felt that it dropped in the middle, almost like you'd come up with a dope beginning, a classic ending, and you'd gone, 'imma preach a bit to sandwich it'. Some of it came across as 'trying' to sound interesting, if you get me. But didn't necessarily have the multi's/internals to back it. 

However, as i've alluded to, the beginning and ending were some nice shit. Especially the last paragraph, my favourite bit. Very well worded, very poetic. 

Keep up.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Crusade Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 September 2013 at 12:25am
Originally posted by CHAIN CHAIN wrote:

First off;
Fuck your bars. 
This post is aimed at the whole #TeamNoFeed #NoFeedGang 
Y’all wanna post 300 bars every week without ever feeding anybody shit?
Are you serious?
I can live with Nigma doing that, ‘cause he’s actually nice.
But the rest of you fools flooding the boards with all that wack ass shit…stop it

And I get that most of you new dudes are aliases and a bunch of 12 year olds.
But there’s rules to this shit.
If you’re not breaking bread then you are not sitting at the table…you can’t eat.

and if you feel like this is me getting my e-thug on…speak on it

yeah, I’m looking at certain L.I mouseketeers.



Lol, I laugh at you sir, for your failure at being the Kendrick Lamar Control Verse of Lyrical Assault. 90 percent of these "fools" produce better bars than you ever will. Fuck off and stop trying to act hardcore because we all know you are this wimpy kid who has been spat out by society and turned to a keyboard for therapy. Oh, and I love how you cocksuck Nigma!
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