Open Mic: The Prophecy |
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Nigma
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Topic: The ProphecyPosted: 08 September 2013 at 12:46am |
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The Prophecy pawn. Alone among God's primates, he kills for sport, or lust or greed. Yes, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him. Drive him back into his jungle lair: For he is the harbinger of death" The water glistens crimson as the sun is rising Nothing like the coming light, at once it brightens, dusk horizons Touch the iris, see the seeping steam emitting up and skywards Lovely pattern that grabs and has us up and atter I'm the master of our tribe, design the monthly patterns Ration corn, surviving all our coming battles Nothing damps us, nothing bad can come to man who understands there's something after Fact is, no one comes and lasts They crumble and succumb to blackness Us though, we're the sun in action Lunar light like dungeon lanterns Soveirgn, self sufficient And we need no help or gifts From those who walk the outter limits Since our food is grown in ground And in pools swimmin round are fishes Proudly fishing, passin down our wisdom It's our crowds rendition with unspoken vows to give it See it's peace and utopia At least until the omen comes The noxious foes who walk on the ocean Common folk are not to know the topics which the prophets spoke of Our herds and firs will burn, I'm certain love has been slaughtered I heard his words which murmured murder, blood on the water And so I counted three suns and then I rose for its rising Saw the cloud attached to treetrunk on the boat they were driving Our people woke to find a sight we know that no one could hide from We saw the God's on the horizion, gave a moment of silence Three of these marine machines and we were happy to see them So named La Pinta, then The Nina, and the Santa Maria People ran up to greet them, patter of feet as we managed to meet them Some of us laugh, some stare The hats, the hair, the pants they wear, advanced appearance Fear sweeps in the moment local tribesman Copa's stabbed and murdered Knee deep with his hands in fists, brandishing his ample gifts He spent his last ten minutes gathering a package for his acrid guests Half our tribe now ran and left, some savage man would grab their wrist While brandishing a magic stick, instant later hands would twitch, hacked to bits Left us beaten half to death As hazards end, they grabbed what they could take back to their boats They claimed us as their slaves, and this land as their own A label they were taking onwards back to their home In the coming months of freedom something stirred in the night Lifes speed seemed to rise with the evenings of light Helped me clean out my vision like it's sleep from my eyes Familiar grief in my mind, see them deep on horizon The Red and the White.. My tribes way of living was ending tonight White men fufilling whats said by our wisest Yet they mention no lie No pretend or disguises You bend to the deity heavenly rights Or get sent off to die by the end of the night With the chill of cold on my back, I am baffled They kill us for gold and the land for expansion Belittled by the facts a fellow citizen was stabbed Because the wicked went and grabbed what we would give them if they'd asked So I am mimiking the sand the way I'm filling up with passion I advanced into the distance to the captain and resiliently I asked "Is you ship at dock in bandages? With it you've walked a path To which is drifting off in blackness" I then proclaimed myself as leader of a land that was smoldering He cleaved off sleeve on, amputating the hand I was holding I'll be the among the first, they let us die Such vengeance, just a genocide And 95% of my descendants will be next in line |
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Nigma
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Joined: 25 March 2013 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 4078 Crew: Elision ![]() ![]() |
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Posted: 08 September 2013 at 12:47am |
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Props to anyone who reads the whole thing, I know this is longer.. well looks longer. It's just more spread out
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Cuba
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Legendary Assassin Joined: 14 June 2004 Location: England Status: Offline Points: 12332 ![]() Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 47-22-0 Form: WWWWLW |
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Posted: 08 September 2013 at 4:49pm |
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Insane
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levy420
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Joined: 22 May 2013 Location: San Antonio TX Status: Offline Points: 3443 Crew: Tha Syndicate Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 39-33-4 Form: LWWLLN |
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Posted: 08 September 2013 at 4:56pm |
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this was sick nigma imagery was on point not much more i can say solid drop yeah it was a long read but u had grasped my attention from begining to start keep it up this was dope
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Crusade
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Joined: 01 September 2013 Location: Moreno Valley, Status: Offline Points: 206 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-7-2 Form: LLLLWN |
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Posted: 09 September 2013 at 12:30am |
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Great verse, but some words did not rhyme as good. It is really hard to know how you can rhyme two words that do nearly rhyme to each other and follow the melody of the flow. Props on the vocab and imagery used throughout the verse.
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CHAIN
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Joined: 14 November 2006 Status: Offline Points: 2769 ![]() Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 8-4-0 Form: LWWLWW |
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Posted: 09 September 2013 at 11:21am |
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First off; And I get that most of you new dudes are aliases and a bunch of 12 year olds. and if you feel like this is me getting my e-thug on…speak on it yeah, I’m looking at certain L.I mouseketeers. |
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spume corrupt
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Joined: 27 April 2011 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 3163 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 20-7-1 Form: WLWLLL |
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Posted: 09 September 2013 at 12:08pm |
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Nice speech here chain...no feed though
I did read all of this Nigs! Gonna be honest and say it's not my kind of thing However the skill is evident an others might love it Keep up bro |
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CHAIN
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Posted: 09 September 2013 at 12:50pm |
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yeah, that was the point, goof
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spume corrupt
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Posted: 09 September 2013 at 1:41pm |
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Ha ha I see now
Cocksucker You on Nigs nuts here though. ..fuckin yuk mouth Laugh it off maingoofer |
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CHAIN
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Posted: 09 September 2013 at 2:04pm |
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nah, i just threw a pie in his face in his own thread and told him 'fuck his bars'
you must got me confused with a certain LI cheerleader, i don't spit shine dick breh
dumb bitch
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spume corrupt
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Joined: 27 April 2011 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 3163 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 20-7-1 Form: WLWLLL |
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Posted: 09 September 2013 at 2:33pm |
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Good looks on the pie though
Chain pack a mean PIE I ain't fuckin wit that Clown |
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Trizzy Tre
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Posted: 09 September 2013 at 5:31pm |
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Phew....dopeness all the way Nig. Shit was ill bruh... Your schemes were bananas and the flow came off so effortless. Barz were smooth too the whole way through and just your angles to your ideas are on point.
And yes I did read the whole way through. lol
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Nigma
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Joined: 25 March 2013 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 4078 Crew: Elision ![]() ![]() |
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Posted: 09 September 2013 at 5:49pm |
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Word at chain, I'll take that pie in the face homie. My feed game has been slacking lately and I know it. I dont leave one or two lines when I feed something, I break it down and do a thorough job
Just haven't had the time lately, or found the inspiration to make the time yknow? Truly appreciate everyone reading this |
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-Que-
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Joined: 22 April 2010 Status: Offline Points: 2745 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 13-4-1 Form: WWWWLW |
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Posted: 10 September 2013 at 5:15am |
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Whuttup again my Nigma!! LOL...I can't get tired of sayin that. Be like..."Thats my Nigma right'dere!!"
I see you playin around with offset lines. You got that shit down too.I liked "The steam emmiting up skywards" phrase lol...killed it. "Lifes speed seemed to rise with the evenings of light Helped me clean out my vision like it's sleep from my eyes" Very smooth I like the twist at the end , where you leave us to wonder about the next generations to come. I also like the murmured/blood on the water line. I see you really be into those visions when you use such vocab. Good work. |
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Kiki Spirez
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Joined: 30 December 2008 Location: Chesterfield Status: Offline Points: 4375 Crew: Kratos Kind Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 68-26-0 Form: WWWWLW |
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Posted: 10 September 2013 at 6:49pm |
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First off, good vocab, very creative, something different. So you get a plus 1 for me for this anyway, before going in to depth.
As far as content and the rhyme scheme, I felt that it dropped in the middle, almost like you'd come up with a dope beginning, a classic ending, and you'd gone, 'imma preach a bit to sandwich it'. Some of it came across as 'trying' to sound interesting, if you get me. But didn't necessarily have the multi's/internals to back it. However, as i've alluded to, the beginning and ending were some nice shit. Especially the last paragraph, my favourite bit. Very well worded, very poetic. Keep up.
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Crusade
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Joined: 01 September 2013 Location: Moreno Valley, Status: Offline Points: 206 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-7-2 Form: LLLLWN |
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Posted: 11 September 2013 at 12:25am |
Lol, I laugh at you sir, for your failure at being the Kendrick Lamar Control Verse of Lyrical Assault. 90 percent of these "fools" produce better bars than you ever will. Fuck off and stop trying to act hardcore because we all know you are this wimpy kid who has been spat out by society and turned to a keyboard for therapy. Oh, and I love how you cocksuck Nigma! |
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