Open Mic: time for a free |
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Bolo 
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¡Ke Viva La Fuckin' Revolución! Joined: 11 November 2004 Status: Offline Points: 1397 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 4-4-4 Form: NWLNNN |
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 Topic: time for a freePosted: 25 June 2008 at 10:29pm |
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see im managin this new girl, she got a voice like ms. carey
and i got a loada dirt on her...i.e. ive been told her box his hairy the repercussions could be scary...cuz see i've done a shit thing... the other day we were alone...n i made the bitch sing i could tell she had a thing for me....she always got happy when i came round she's been in the next room as i fucked...them thin walls don't constrain sound so i KNOW she knows wats up, she's heard my girl screamin for more.... it was just a matter of time before SHE came knockin on my door... and so it happend...she invited me in her room.... she told me to lay next to her in her bed..."'you know who' will be home soon" "ha, u say that like its a bad thing" i told her with a smile "isn't it?" she snickerd, "i wish she'd disappear for a while" so i layed down on her bed, and we got to watchin movies she wrapped her fine legs up with mine...brought her inner thighs up to me now see this ain't no wack bitch, she got a cute face and bangin body... n her sexy ass voice always got me thinkin somthin naughty... still i knew it was forbidden, so i tried to ignore her subtle moves but then her hand rubbed on my back...i thought "damn, this girl is smooth" she put her head on my chest, i tried my best to look away but i could feel her eyes staring at me...i started wishin i was spayed see baby gurl had got me sprung....now i wasn't thinkin straight so i ran my hand through her hair, and caressed her pretty face as my fingers grazed her mouth, i felt her lips press against them then she rolled over a bit more...the situation got more tense then now she was halfway on me, her hand rubbed my chest quite lewdly and as she began to kiss my stomach...she had succesfully seduced me so i grabbed her head and pressed down a bit...runnin my hand over her back my hand slid further down till my fingers breached her crack she climbed back up a bit and began to kiss my chest i pulled her shirt up off her...off came her bra and out came her breasts she brought them to my mouth, let me get a little taste then she quickly pulled them out and put her attention on my waste she popped out the button, unzipped the zipper.... the way she was undressin me, u'd swear she was a stripper once my pants slid off she finished removin her pj's she pulled my dick out through the peep hole and got to work on a bj im tellin u this girl could suck....that shit was amazin i busted in her mouth, she took it without complainin she jacked me off a bit to make sure i got it all out then mami took off her g string and got her legs all sprawled out i stuck my dick inside her and started fuckin the lil bitch and as i was thrustin she pulled my head down and went in for the kiss just then we heard a noise...did someone come in to the home? so i pulled out quick and got to dressed...i could tell we wern't alone luckily my girl walked in when we were already fully dressed but that was some scary shit, she almost caught me havin sex and its happend again since...but yo, i never shouldve kissed her... cuz see, the kicker of the story is.... im fuckin my girl's lil sister |
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I am the one that knocks...
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Fatal
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...Wicked Wit Wordplay... Joined: 08 March 2005 Location: Chicago Status: Offline Points: 6441 Crew: The Dynasty Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 44-4-2 Form: WNNWWW |
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Posted: 25 June 2008 at 10:46pm |
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Hahaa this shit was dope, son...seriously one of the hottest verses ive read in a minute...story was dope, flow was on point, and the ending was a good twist...dopeness kid
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Madeye
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Joined: 25 March 2008 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 1177 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 8-4-0 Form: WWLLLL |
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Posted: 25 June 2008 at 11:14pm |
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That was nasty imagery LOL... makes me wonder why I'd read it all... shit was disgusting. LOL
At first it was okay, but then the porn scene began.
 What's this Bolo do in his spare time? Geez.Killer flow, liked the scheme... I felt like I was readin' some shit from a playboy magazine, tho.
 Ending was some funny shit.
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<font color=darkgray>I'm only offended by those I respect... and I don't respect you[/COLOR]
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Bolo
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¡Ke Viva La Fuckin' Revolución! Joined: 11 November 2004 Status: Offline Points: 1397 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 4-4-4 Form: NWLNNN |
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Posted: 25 June 2008 at 11:36pm |
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thanks y'all....didn't really kno where i was goin with it...just started keyin shit...only really had the last line in mind when i started, haha
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I am the one that knocks...
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DressToKill
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Joined: 27 June 2006 Location: Canada,New Brunswick Status: Offline Points: 6876 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 78-62-0 Form: LLWWWL |
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Posted: 26 June 2008 at 12:03am |
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LMFAO @ The ending duke..this was dope it started a little slow but picked up nicely..I enjoyed this shit haha..The description was there and the story was just overall told very well..keep up |
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The original comeback kid
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Matt The Ripper
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Joined: 19 March 2008 Location: Cultus Lake, BC Status: Offline Points: 4042 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 25-40-2 Form: WLLLLL |
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Posted: 26 June 2008 at 1:03am |
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Well done, well done...
Nice ending, fam. |
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Kay B
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Joined: 28 June 2005 Location: Watford Status: Offline Points: 9428 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 58-32-0 Form: LLWWWW |
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Posted: 26 June 2008 at 7:57am |
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Pretty much whats been said above started off slow than picked up but overall it was real nice, loved the ending made me laugh and a nice twist..flow was nice throughout and general content was good, nice drop
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mcwoods
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Joined: 04 December 2006 Status: Offline Points: 4204 Crew: XFade: Phoenix Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 42-51-0 Form: LLLLWW |
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Posted: 26 June 2008 at 8:09am |
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yeah, not loving this as much as others
story wernt worlds greatest, pretty much "i managed a girl, then describing a sex scene, one line twist", so story could have been formulated better, but thats just me what you did well was the description and flow, boht were solid and really helped the piece, the simplisicity of the start kept me interested, thinking, okay whats going to happen, to make this piece get all this nice feed... and i was lil dissapointed, by the relatively basic twist so decent, but not worlds greatest |
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Bolo
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¡Ke Viva La Fuckin' Revolución! Joined: 11 November 2004 Status: Offline Points: 1397 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 4-4-4 Form: NWLNNN |
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Posted: 26 June 2008 at 12:41pm |
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thanks for the feed guys....and woods, to be honest, i was thinkin the same thing when i saw the feed haha....
anyway, quick background for those that are interested....i AM managing my girl's lil sister, she DOES get like that, and alot of the "lead up" parts have actually happend (on her part)....but im not fuckin with her, i got morals fam....plus she's only 16... |
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I am the one that knocks...
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CHAIN
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Joined: 14 November 2006 Status: Offline Points: 2769  Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 8-4-0 Form: LWWLWW |
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Posted: 26 June 2008 at 2:40pm |
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goddamn, this story confused the hell out of me, 'cause i'm going through the same shit right now, but i'm dealing with a "older sister' ......that shit is hard (nh) i'm fighting it
and this story doesn't make it easier, lool
funny ass drop, verse of the month imo
....damn
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dalinquent
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Joined: 04 June 2004 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 4687 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 29-23-1 Form: WLLLWL |
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Posted: 26 June 2008 at 11:24pm |
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hahaha, nice story bo... dope shit...kinda think i inspried this whole piece...haha...one a side note, u better not be fucking my girl!!!!!!
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