Text Battle Archive: [Topical] Mackie Vs JBrenn

Topic: Falling In Love With Someone Other Than Your Spouse

Well this battle here was hard to call overall for different reasons which i'll explain shortly,
But let me just state now if I could I would call this a draw, but that would be a cop out i
feel, So Mackie you was the first to drop on the same day the actual thread was set, props,
On top of that you did well not giving this drop a rushed vibe, it read fleshed out because of
The details you ran with, you gave a verse with depth by casting a light on what drove You
to commit adultery, and supplying a kind of backstory for the reasons was a cool inclusion,
My only real gripe was without an inner rhyme scheme popping at a decent rate, it felt the
Flow of it was in parts (and I'm talking in small parts) mediocre, but then the opposite to that
Would of been compromising details, so that's why I don't see it as a major problem, and this
Bar was the stand out for me..

'so bruv, i met this girl.. a blonde little bit, goddess herself
not like the others. they russian dolls, so full of themselves"

That was nice, it explains a lot about some of today's females for just 2 lines and the simile was
cool too, I enjoyed it, now JBrenn you came with a cool verse yourself, although not as detailed
your verse came with a vibe of being promiscuous and for self gratification overall, it felt to me
on reading like a demo for a statistics chart on the main reasons why marriages fail, lol, and those
short lines you ran with just aided the flow of this piece overall, it read effortlessly, and for me this
was your best bar here,

'She leans in close 'this is it' our lips graze...
Just a quick peck body shocked like Im tased"...

It came across as a nice simile and had an air of a innocent encounter about it given the actual topic
matter, again I enjoyed the read from you also..

Vote Mackie and here's why, I just liked his detailed approach more, he also managed to put in some
emotion and despair which was more to my liking, and i'll state right now that this could either way
when votes come in, as its only preference that separates you both, as your evenly matched to be
honest.. Peace.

Thanks for the vote CJ

Well this is tied at the moment so please someone vote so I can close it st 2/1
either way.. nudge nudge.

Thanks for the votes... Mackie great verse bro

Ok look
So I’ve read both verses a couple times and I struggled to get threw mackies verse the flow and wording was off in places,
And when I’m reading Jbrenns verse it’s pretty much flowing like butter, plus the story he’s telling is more intriguing and realistic

This is where it started to flow a little better for mackie
shes looking like a fresh racked line...
i feel like my next relapse wont be so bad this time..
fuck it lifes mines... im here to die so come watch me, ill live it
and if i die without fucking this chick ill be livid.

But overall Mackies verse was not as descriptive is jays kind of felt more stalker-ish he never actually made a move where Jay described his sexual encounter, very descriptively and actually got the bitch in the bunk will say
Jay went all the way so my vote is for J on this battle

Really dug the way you started to

Clockin into this job again barely even profittin'...
Brain just lockin' in boss upset bout our stock again...
Brenn get those machines up my tool bag clanks...
Last nights fight written on my face...
All work made into a fool no thanks...
How am I gettin her off my case.
Liked the last nights fight written on my face line
Nice imagery

MVGT - JBrenn