Elevation Centre: Turtle's Nightshcool

i seen your shit and dude your trying so night aswell help you out

ill get you to spit 2bars then i (or anyone with advice) explain one thing for you to just change
then its back to you to spit another two with the advice i give you
me or the others will give you feed on tha change and give you another
and so on ...

if you accept then i think youll elevate quicker and other cats that wanna post advice they can
just one at a time 

ONE PIECE OF ADVICE  AT A TIME

accept?

Yeah I accept, I didnt realize that when ppl told me to keep dropping that id elevate an now this.. you guys came through with your word so im gonna take ya advice, thanks goes to plat an anybody else that wants to pitch in.... props in advance, peace!

where we stand with empty hands is why the mid east attacked U.S. rock
cause we all the time walkin around with our heads down like the enfected in hancock

alight I see what you sayin' gimmie a lil bit and im gone get back to this in a bit..

Forget the stash leave it an dash an dont leave the stack of cash
the police knocking on my front door im bustin out the back

damn man now that alot nicer . still a few thing about wording a line you need to remember
1. try not to use the same word or phrase in the same line (unless intentional)
2. never use and & and in the same sentance. split it with a comma
( i won a fishing rod and a hook and a sinker
i won a fishing rod, hook and a sinker) ... feel me

Forget the stash leave it an dash, keep the stack of cash
the police knocking on my front door im bustin out the back

just somthing as simple as that makes it more interesting to the reader cuz your not repeating your self you know.

that last spit was a hell of an improvement, now for a little switch up

multis are multiple syllable rhyming for ex.  gay-faggot, slay-rabbits / your-gay, for-play
this technnique is used to tighten down the screws on one aspect of your flow

ima write one multiple rhyme and i want you to use that and also add in one of your own that rhymes with mine to form a bar. for ex (dick-head)

your a piece of shit dick-head
punch you till my finger tips-red
(note that was just an example i expet you to make it abit better than that)

your turn . . . dope-spitter . . . ( all 3 syllables should match and rhyme)

yea thats exactly wat im lookin for . now for some similes, just find a way to put something cleverly like uumm

im 'bucking shells' like 'clashing heads with turtle'

i normally think of a meta or simile then make a line to go ontop of it. so say i was using that one above then i would think of the next poart and come out with ..

im tucking-rounds ta bash-you-red-and-purple
then 'bucking-shells' like 'clashing-heads-with-turtle'

another element of rap some people chose to use or not, i like metas cuz it gets my brain thinking, you can chose to add some in but its not a vital part of rhyming . im just putting it out there incase you wanna give it ago

think you misin the point of a metaphore, you need to explain sumin with a tottaly differnt situation, one thats related. n good metaphors tend to be ones that arnt to obvious, so a really simple one is

yea yea

'open your chest' up like 'pirates looking for treasure'

get it

haha ok, well dont get me wrong because i am dedicated but I doubt ill read a dictionary however it may help to skim through it to get an idea of using other words. What I was after here was metas and similies but if you feel thats to advanced for me maybe Ill just spend time on multis will in return force me to open a dictionary.. I have actually thought about that and if I was to do that would the reader understand the words that im using? or would it just get overlooked?..