Open Mic: Whorecore [WD7] |
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daydizzle89 
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Joined: 23 July 2014 Status: Offline Points: 3805 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LWWLLW |
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 Topic: Whorecore [WD7]Posted: 20 December 2016 at 8:59pm |
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I'll turn a bitch's bones into a shin splinted tourniquet
Burn this bitch nd detonate a bomb that'll turn her t' crisps Use her shirt and limbs to paint a portrait of pulchritude Bolt her, glue ancient relics of Astonia through her vocal tubes Im old nd rude, Moby dicking bitches with my whale sized fat prick Grab that bitch and give her that dick till her Vag Sanguine Have her muffling that Stick while whistling it in Onomatopoeia "Ahhh Nommm Ah Top Eeee ahhh " Screaming "Im on top of D yah" Im on top of depravity raping it like an insane bastard A mirage of sanity as i use her chest cavity as a concave'd placard Edited by daydizzle89 - 20 December 2016 at 9:11pm |
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SELF ACTIVATE
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Joined: 05 February 2016 Location: Kemet Status: Offline Points: 1389 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-0 Form: WL |
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Posted: 20 December 2016 at 9:19pm |
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^Visceral and raw to the grizzle!
^The scene in the Dark Knight where the joker blows up the hospital where Harvy Dent is recovering comes to mind here.
^Lol ight, bro. I think it's spelled E-stonia tho.
^Ahhh man, here you go...that's some sick shit, Dizz. Literally. I guess the title should serve as an obvious disclaimer, huh?
^LOl exaggerated/animated/comical/and creative! Dope.
^Dope outro and effortlessly word usage.. All-in-all: this was some sick shit -- both lyrically and literary. Classic Dizz. Stay up. Peace... Edited by SELF ACTIVATE - 20 December 2016 at 9:33pm |
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Crimson Juice
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Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3263 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW |
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Posted: 20 December 2016 at 9:27pm |
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lol..liked the title..
This piece does exactly what it says on the tin,a fresh approach on the key words here, the opening had some sprite about it that worked well,and the part about painting with her limbs a thing of beauty..lol was a cold and cruel,I liked it on the whole it had some flavour,it also had a direct feel,orignal man and enjoyable read..peace. |
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"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance". |
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Cuba
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Legendary Assassin Joined: 14 June 2004 Location: England Status: Offline Points: 12332  Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 47-22-0 Form: WWWWLW |
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Posted: 21 December 2016 at 7:16pm |
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Lol...yeah, it's not particularly my preferred topic/genre but it's one you're very comfortable and effective in. You have that confidence/swagger that runs throughout and I always look for people to get that 'attitude' across in the tone/word selection which you have a clear grasp of and handle on. Not going to do highlights, lol.
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HI-Z
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Joined: 27 June 2016 Status: Offline Points: 196 Crew: Alter Egos |
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Posted: 22 December 2016 at 9:13am |
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Ahaha yo the chest cavity line was fuckin great bro lmao, you had my ass rollin. Decent drop here it's both disgusting and dope, it's disdoping
Lol, Seriously tho well done homie. |
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-Que-
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Joined: 22 April 2010 Status: Offline Points: 2745 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 13-4-1 Form: WWWWLW |
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Posted: 02 January 2017 at 5:00am |
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I'll turn a bitch's bones into a shin splinted tourniquet ^^Excellent opening line Burn this bitch nd detonate a bomb that'll turn her t' crisps Use her shirt and limbs to paint a portrait of pulchritude Bolt her, glue ancient relics of Astonia through her vocal tubes ^^ strong execution of flow and word placement dude Have her muffling that Stick while whistling it in Onomatopoeia "Ahhh Nommm Ah Top Eeee ahhh " Screaming "Im on top of D yah" ^^Lmaooo!! You a fool for this! Im on top of depravity raping it like an insane bastard A mirage of sanity as i use her chest cavity as a concave'd placard  Nice. I enjoyed this drop fully bro |
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I'll turn a bitch's bones into a shin splinted tourniquet