Elevation Centre: Punchline Help |
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mcwoods 
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 Topic: Punchline HelpPosted: 06 July 2008 at 7:17pm |
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anyone who is looking help, or just wants to spitball some shiz, just check up here, and ill give you advice and what not, ill pass on my knowledge, and show you how i, personally, come up with the plays i do...
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Madeye
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Posted: 06 July 2008 at 7:26pm |
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Aiight, mayng...
I'll sign for a crash-course, I absorb info EZ... so this won't take long.
Holla'.
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<font color=darkgray>I'm only offended by those I respect... and I don't respect you[/COLOR]
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mcwoods
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Posted: 06 July 2008 at 7:40pm |
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cool, well of course, the obvious punchlines, is a humourous play on a persons name or on any word.... it usually consists of a set up, and the the "punchline" or the joke, that finishes the line off in a clever and unexpected twist, it can be simple or complicated...
and example of a set up, is just a general phrase, i.e. ill make you throw up blood...... you take this, and then you think... okay what "throws up blood" or what could "throw up blood"... in general, every punch works because a word, or a phrase has two different meanings, i.e flow = rapping rhythum and can mean a river, blow it = can me blowjob / a bomb / to screw something up etc, they are simple, but you get the idea, a persons name has many potential punches i.e., my name woods... "put the heat to woods.......like a camp fire...... like a log cabin in hell (fatal i believe), so ill slice up woods, like a logg cutter" etc the more you can find words that have more meanings, the more plays can come up with, those examples ie flow, have been used alot, and thus may be deemed played back to the original "throw up blood".... i thought of that and then thought "okay.. what throws up blood", in this case, blood doesnt really have a double meaning, but threw up can, to be physically sick, or something throwing up something.... so wih the blood bit, i got thinking a donor... or more specifically a donor van... as it has blood inside it... so when would a donor van... have blood going up and down in it...??... i came up with... "going over a speedbump" as this bump would cause the blood inside to go, or to be thrown up so the punch would be yo imma kill this cat, easy.... we all know he sucks ill have him "throwin' up blood", like a donor van over speed bumps... get it.... thats the general process... ill give you a few set ups, and you have a go, finishing the punches, some may be a lil played, or might be a lil forced, but that is totally fine at this stage,, there is no wrong.... only degrees of dopeness lol... so examples of setups.. 1...put the heat to ya dome... 2... make this chicken run.... 3..... leave a cat with no head.... 4..... leave this guy black and blue...(like is the usual start for these, as they are similie type punchlines, but its not a hard and fast rule) 5.... have this cat strugglin to breathe... 6.... this guy felt more hands... 7.... this guy spend more time on his back 8.... this guy been beaten on the job.... okay thats a start.. do these if you can.. anyone who is interested and i will critique them, give you my examples.. and we can more on to further stages...
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Madeye
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Posted: 07 July 2008 at 2:27pm |
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Aiight...
1 > there ain't no chance for any ya' lines to stay chilled, dudes I put the heat to ya' dome like Sun on Igloo homes' roofs... ...ehh, was that okay? LOL @ self. 2 > this dude more G rated than kid's movies that promise fun... I'll have this newb animated like DreamWorks' Chicken Run! ...ummnnn... changed the setup to a punch... wuss' good? I'll continue later on... need some food. |
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<font color=darkgray>I'm only offended by those I respect... and I don't respect you[/COLOR]
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direct1
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Posted: 07 July 2008 at 2:44pm |
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i'll bring heat to ya dome like ive torched millenium way
so its like seein_0_2 makin ya suffocate (the c in 02 = c02)
Edited by direct1 - 07 July 2008 at 3:38pm |
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direct1
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Posted: 07 July 2008 at 2:50pm |
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i have this cat findin it hard to breathe like he bagged up in a river
the only time he spit hot shit was in a tray of kitty litter
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Madeye
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Posted: 07 July 2008 at 4:50pm |
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LOL @ "hot shit in a tray of kitty litter"...
Nice finish wit' that, d1... I seen the "kitty litter" play before, but you made it you own. Nice. One ['1] |
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<font color=darkgray>I'm only offended by those I respect... and I don't respect you[/COLOR]
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Madeye
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Posted: 07 July 2008 at 4:58pm |
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6 >
while the clock ticks ya' spit "tricks" n' holler at charity supporter this guy felt more hands than a 2 dollar smorg' on ya local corner... |
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<font color=darkgray>I'm only offended by those I respect... and I don't respect you[/COLOR]
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D.king
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Posted: 07 July 2008 at 5:55pm |
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i am not orbit but i'll clean out dirt like i brush tounges
cuz I'll have this cat struggling to breath like crush lungs |
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I resemble the tooth fairy by the way i am taking your crown!!
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SwordedStylez
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Posted: 07 July 2008 at 7:01pm |
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when i spit i'm fuckin blessed like a rasta in zion
i'll make ya 'swallow ya pride' like a cannibal lion
;) |
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Music
Ink - Always remembered, never forgotten (as a fake as fuck piece of shit who tried to steal 2 persona's) |
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bad karma
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Posted: 07 July 2008 at 7:14pm |
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hayo man check dis out..(n ma badd if im wrong).. but is these punchlines n if not wtf are they? lol 2-i'll make this chickin run, like i chopped of his head 3-ill leave a cat wit no head, like they names ann boleyn 4-ill leave this guy black n blue, let da police ask wot happened to you?
coz its a fact you will do like most pussyholes, n keep ya trap shut n glued! 5-im a choke this fag, leave this cat strugglin ta breathe
in a hodel bag, in a lake dis is fate, dat his bubblin and weak 6-this guys felt more hands than linda lovelace, they been hard or soft?
made da guiness records 4 most dicks in one place, he be hard fo cock! 7-this guy spends mo time on his back, than paris hilton its fact
he trys for the guys who hav wallets fat, n then he milks em its whack!
8-this guy been beaten on the job more times than dicks by hoes!
this trick tried blokes now fo prick crys mo, wotta sick guy yo....
phew..................fukin hell wood dat was mo work then i thought dude haha, anyways i dont think half dem are prolly even rite but im bored n tired so figured giv it a go....
hit me up n lemme no wots happenin wit ma shit yeah.
Peace.....\0/ |
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stuck here wit a damaged back,
how tha fuck i manage that? its savage that woz a hit n run, this shit aint fun almost chipped me bum :( |
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Madeye
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Posted: 07 July 2008 at 7:19pm |
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the way you talk shit, it'd kill a dino's sense of smell
Thas' the only time you a threat to a lyricist's health...
...  Edited by Madeye - 08 July 2008 at 12:37pm |
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<font color=darkgray>I'm only offended by those I respect... and I don't respect you[/COLOR]
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bad karma
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Posted: 07 July 2008 at 7:24pm |
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HA HA
hahahahahahaha
wot a tard i jus realised dis shit aint even punches its wordplay o mettas o sumshit innit haha
mayn we outa have a dictionary jus fo karma i think lol
anyways hit me up n lemme no how i can rise in ma rhymes...
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stuck here wit a damaged back,
how tha fuck i manage that? its savage that woz a hit n run, this shit aint fun almost chipped me bum :( |
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mcwoods
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Joined: 04 December 2006 Status: Offline Points: 4204 Crew: XFade: Phoenix Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 42-51-0 Form: LLLLWW |
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Posted: 07 July 2008 at 7:35pm |
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madeye -
there ain't no chance for any ya' lines to stay chilled, dudes I put the heat to ya' dome like Sun on Igloo homes' roofs... exactly... this is a cool example of wordplay... though you stretched the concept a bit, simply.. "like tha sun on an igloo", would be MORE effective, as its simple and hard hitting and not being bogged down by the details, you see, and an igloo is naturally a dome shape, so no need to mention tha roof, but thats a brill start this dude more G rated than kid's movies that promise fun... I'll have this newb animated like DreamWorks' Chicken Run! that is a brilliant concept, the animated is a brilliant concept i would have spun it like.. this battle'll be like that dream works movie, ill leave this rat animated (ratoutoie) see how that provides an aditional play, not just dream works / animated, which is briliant, but then the extra, rat / snitch..... an actual rat / mouse, as the star of the dream works movie, see..? as the original goes.. you got the idea of tha "chicken run" movie, which was the main point, so that is good shiz, both of those show brilliant potential,,, ideally when you think of a play, word it three or more times differently, working in different concepts etc, to make the play the best it can possibly be... while the clock ticks ya' spit "tricks" n' holler at charity supporter this guy felt more hands than a 2 dollar smorg' on ya local corner... ill assume smorg = prostitute lol... but im not sure, if that is right... then thats cool, the play works and its funny... but again, you maybe focused on the wrong detail, going on the street corner..... maybe shorten it to... "this bitch felt more hands, than a 2 dollar whore!", simple and too the point... get it? thats good shiz tho... you def have the right ideas direct1 i'll bring heat to ya dome like ive torched millenium way so its like seein_0_2 makin ya suffocate (the c in 02 = c02) both those plays are very good, im not 100% on the second one... lol, but tha first one is a brillaint concept, a well known dome... and the fire / torch is simple and too the point... that is good... i have this cat findin it hard to breathe like he bagged up in a river the only time he spit hot shit was in a tray of kitty litter here we have some problems, first play is good, but a little too literal....i.e "im gonna kill this guy, by stopping his heart" lol, ya see?... first one is a good line/punch.... but it aint a funny wordplay /punchline.. its just explaining what your going to do, without something clever on it... kitty litter is a decent idea too, but you worded it wrong.. if your taking the "cat" from the inital line, then the play is good... but spit should be placed with drop, as they both mean the same, but drop allows for the double meaning, meaning to take a shit or drop a verse... another way that could have been taken was "only time this pussy drop hot shit, is in his litter tray".... pussy = pussy/ cat lol.... drop shit , again too meanings... see how that works?... small changes that make a big difference, to how it reads and how hard it hits.. but again good concepts, minor delivery tweaks and you'll be a beast in no time... like frankenstien in limbo.. D KING i am not orbit but i'll clean out dirt like i brush tounges cuz I'll have this cat struggling to breath like crush lungs okay, some problems here...the play is decent in the second line, but again, its not very clever, which is what we after. its too literal like direct one, admittedly that set up was hard, but you have to go outside the box with it.... first line the orbit / clean, but was a nice idea... but the point is dissing "i clean out dirt" isnt the most effective line, ya know.... its kinda like saying "i'll rinse you" etc..."i remove idiots" its just not a power phrase.. and tongues dont have alot of dirt on them, so the play itself doesn't make alot of sense... the orbit bit is cool..... so you have to think, whats associated with orbit..... freshness.. breath...... mouth.... rapping used the mouth...... so something like "all my spits is fresh like im chewing orbit / chewing wrigleys"..... "its like im chewing wrigleys.. all my spits is fresh" "its like im chewing orbit, everything out of my mouth is fresh"... you see... that play is cool, you had the play, but then got confused and put in a bad/ confused play.. but the conept is there... good shiz... SwordedStylez when i spit i'm fuckin blessed like a rasta in zion i'll make ya 'swallow ya pride' like a cannibal lion ^ this is a nice example of a punchline... and it takes another way to do them.. instead of a set up, made up by you..... you take an exisitng phrase.... or popular sentence/phrase/quote.. and turn it around and give it a new meaning... "swallow ya pride"... meaning to retreat / be scared etc... pride = a group of lions.... swallow a pride.... "who would swallow/ eat a group of lions"..... it just so happens SS chose cannibal lions, which makes sense and is clever... so the punch works well.... another example is... "quit while your ahead"..... thats a popular phrase.... no what quits / stops.. while its a head.....this gusy punch (forgotten who) was.... "quit while your a-head, like aborted foetuses"... which is clever and delivers a hard hitting concept id like ya'll to come up with a few punches your selve, they just have to be simple and funny... do them in word... come with a little collection.... and we can critique them again.. pointing out good and bad points in other peoples punches will show you where you are going wrong in your own.... thank you.. |
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mcwoods
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Posted: 07 July 2008 at 7:38pm |
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1-ima reach fo tha chrome, coz im fukin bizarre
i'll put heat to ya dome like u a dawg ina car! LOL... thsi was pretty funny... there has been controversy, leaving dogs in cars, so this is relevant and in our culture, which makes it funny... but the dawg reference is a little obscure as it hasnt alot to do with heat/ dome.. the obvious play on heat = a gun... but not a bad start... that one may get a laugh.. 2-i'll make this chickin run, like i chopped of his head dropped him for dead, its like his lifes lost in tha dread this aint a punchline... tho chicken / choped off head... cud be a play.. "running around like a headless chicken" is a well known phrase.. so that could have worked.. the rest wernt punchlines as you realised lol.. but keep doing and you could do some damage.. |
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mcwoods
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Posted: 07 July 2008 at 7:41pm |
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Another way to punch..... is to give words an alternate meaning, by splitting them to create a new word.. or given the same word can be spelt two different ways..... ie weighs/ways... week/weak... hoe/ho
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lyracist - leer assist..... ya get it? .... concussion - con cushion, any play with this will lead to an automatic play... another good exercise is to find words that split or have two different ways to spell and these will form the basis for future set ups and plays.... |
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D.king
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Posted: 07 July 2008 at 9:59pm |
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soo how do i use this...??? does this make sence?
i'll leave this con cushions to the head |
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I resemble the tooth fairy by the way i am taking your crown!!
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mcwoods
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Posted: 08 July 2008 at 7:04am |
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in a word....no.... "ill leave this con cushions to the head"....... read that...... what part of that means anything
Ill leave this con - cushions to the head...... your gonna put a cushion to a con's head?.... i see what your gettin' at con-cushion / head... but you didnt relate them in a way that makes sense.... thats what that translates as.... in basic terms, which you should start with... the word "like" should be used... i.e "Ill give this dude a concussion.... like tha prison laundry service"... set up ^ ................................................punch ^ the set up makes sense, im going to hurt this guy, and you split concussion, meaning a head injury, to CON - CUSHION...... who would give con's......cushions........ the prision laundry service.... hence the punch a few more examples create a punch with HO's....... the double meanings being whore / and HOSE - like a water hose.... |
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direct1
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Posted: 08 July 2008 at 7:05am |
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this is in an open battle at the moment between me and mad eye you could comment on this bar here or ive dropped the link to the battle cheers
its unorthadox da way i destroy this faggots vision
leave mad eye fucked like sittin too close to telivisions/
what if it was
its unorthadox da way i destroy his winnin visions
leave mad eyes fucked like sittin to close to televisions/
im tryna think of what u said bout wording....
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direct1
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Posted: 08 July 2008 at 7:13am |
what if it was,
my bars jail this boi he only giv cons cushions for bed
im breakin his bars n give him concusion to da head
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mcwoods wrote: