Open Mic: [KOTM]In Your Bootstraps

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alicewonder Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Standard Member Joined: 09 May 2015 Location: uk Status: Offline Points: 653 Crew: Kratos Kind Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-1-2 Form: WWLNN	Post Options Post Reply Quote alicewonder Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Topic: [KOTM]In Your Bootstraps Posted: 14 January 2017 at 3:04am
	‘I never knew you’. it’s too common a phrase to govern my day but it’s just to say that I’m solemn at bay and it’s pouring some rain, acetic laden - your dominant state's my prominent play – ‘I never pulled through’ - Souffleur on Solomon’s grave. our punishment made in the modest of ways: child with spectacles meets its sovereign mate ‘I never skewed truths'. you fostered me – not in a metaphorical way but literally. you lifted me on my chimerical climb inner misfit sinks in liquids at an ‘immeasurable’ price everything can be valued at dice so that’s an intentional lie mistaking somersaults for rolls on my inevident thrive ‘I never pursuit ruse’. ‘poured one out for you’ just the other day Eight-year old liquid got that proper taste the one you gifted me for my wondrous trait remember me in a bit of a raucous rage? leathered leads for a trip to my tarnished trace severed these through a sip from that Bacardi sway. we are both morally morbid yet oxymoronic on calling one of us is prone to their most toxic of thoughts and as the golden-glee in mornings turns to an atomic process and an oneiric blur is my coveting orbit. ‘I never used you’. I been told you inhabited me, my mind, every fucking.. insertable scene my Gemini, the ever-core of an insatiable seed Sister to Lilith – they call you a manic in realm ‘schizoaffective’ – that’s how they unravelled my dream I can feel the leather straps again.. the sedative stre- Edited by Endeavor - 15 January 2017 at 6:40pm

rhetorical Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Site Moderator Joined: 14 February 2014 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 809 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-1-0 Form: WWL	Post Options Post Reply Quote rhetorical Report Post Likes(1) Quote Reply Posted: 14 January 2017 at 4:11am
	at the moment. . it could be the alcohol talking lol . .but. . i have to say. of everything i have read from you. .this is by far my favorite. . honestly, im a metaphor guy. . so when a verse blows ME away. . its something special. The wording was nothing less then captivating. There are not alot of writtens that i mentally just fall in too. . but there was so many layers and so much depth to explore in this verse. . i couldnt help but not too. I think i read a verse from you a little while back, and i felt it was too much on the poetic side, and didnt have much to offer as a traditional rap verse on a rap forum. . and im sure my suggestion would have been to strike a balance. Well, this IS the balance i was talking about. I never wanted you to abandon that brilliant poetic talent, I just wanted that poetic mind to compliment a verse . . . and well, congratulations. i enjoyed this from top to bottom and will probably read it at least 2 or 3 more times before i log off tonight


Crimson Juice Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Site Moderator Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3263 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW	Post Options Post Reply Quote Crimson Juice Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 14 January 2017 at 4:29pm
	Finally.. This was a well crafted verse,with some great metaphoric content,not as poetic as your usual pieces,but still as entertaining,funny thing is as I read more of your work, its becoming ever clearer how much talent you actually have with the pen, the details were subtle and expressed,the word choices were solid also,all while still carrying that trade mark abstract slant that you work so well,although this piece was a change up from you proir drops,it still kept me peeled from beginning to end,I really got a kick from this on reading,now I'll now hash out a few lines,but to be fair you had many quotables. "acetic laden - your dominant state's my prominent play – ‘I never pulled through’ - Souffleur on Solomon’s grave. our punishment made in the modest of ways: child with spectacles meets its sovereign mate ‘I never skewed truths'. " you fostered me – not in a metaphorical way but literally. you lifted me on my chimerical climb inner misfit sinks in liquids at an ‘immeasurable’ price everything can be valued at dice so that’s an intentional lie mistaking somersaults for rolls on my inevident thrive" "we are both morally morbid yet oxymoronic on calling one of us is prone to their most toxic of thoughts and as the golden-glee in mornings turns to an atomic process and an oneiric blur is my coveting orbit" Pure class there,i really enjoyed this read and change of style from you, are off as refreshing,ripe work here girl loving it..peace.
	"You need to learn how to make an exit, before you can dare make an entrance".

Endeavor Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Moderator Wiggle wiggle said the bun that jiggle Joined: 03 April 2009 Location: Your kitchen Status: Offline Points: 10000102 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 5-4-0 Form: WWLWLW	Post Options Post Reply Quote Endeavor Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 15 January 2017 at 6:41pm
	Updated this at the request of Ms. Alice. Added in [KOTM] at the title and included the picture as she forgot.
	#Bananas

CHAIN Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Standard Member Joined: 14 November 2006 Status: Offline Points: 2769 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 8-4-0 Form: LWWLWW	Post Options Post Reply Quote CHAIN Report Post Likes(1) Quote Reply Posted: 15 January 2017 at 8:06pm
	I'll just be honest. Most of this went over my head bullets whizzing by sound I read this about 4 times, which is something I don't usually do. I'm guessing this is about a schizofrenic lady in a straight jacket talking to her other self. I feel real dumb now but I don't think that's 100% my fault. I need you to break it down for me. Endeavour already explained the 'souffleur on solomons grave' line to me. I'm befuddled.
	+Sick-Witted+

alicewonder Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Standard Member Joined: 09 May 2015 Location: uk Status: Offline Points: 653 Crew: Kratos Kind Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-1-2 Form: WWLNN	Post Options Post Reply Quote alicewonder Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 15 January 2017 at 9:06pm
	@rhetorical and Crim, thank you, appreciate it. @Chain And here I was hoping my approach was a bit more direct this time, haha... I mean, you actually got it right. It's about a person talking to the voice in her head. So, to make it maybe/hopefully just a bit clear: The cursive parts are the parts in which the voice talks to the person. The person then talks to the voice in her head, in segments. I tried to write it like the person is talking to a 'good' friend, to reveal the 'real' addressee in the end. I am not so sure that it worked, but regardless, I'm glad the core concept is more or less visible. I'm sure that Endeavor elaborated on the Solomon reference in a great way. Just to give an example from that particular segment, the 'punishment made' bit refers to when the condition first started to appear - as a child. The 'sovereign mate' refers to the dominance of the voice over the person. The next cursive part is, again, the voice talking. By saying 'I never skewed truths', the voice says that it's never lied to the person. I intended it to do this way: the more you read the parts in cursive, the more it should become clear (for lack of better word here) that it's the opposite of every line stated in the cursive part. 'I never knew you' for example is obviously wrong in the sense that the voice knows the person. As you wouldn't expect such statements from a 'friend'. So, in order to be clearer, it's 'I always knew you' etc. Going back to the segment that the voice lied to the person (I feel like this is weirdly phrased but I try to be as clear as possible here, hopefully it works): the person says that the voice helped the person to greater heights. Heights that are chimerical, which means that it's not real. But also heights like personal highs, such as a confidence boost, hence the 'inner misfit sinks in liquids'. The liquid appears in another segment of the verse as well. In that segment, it's the person's medication. The sedatives also appear in the end, revealing, or subtly hinting at the condition of the person. So yeah, to sum it up, it is just about a schizoaffective person. My bad that the details and most of the lines were again too difficult to understand. And don't mind the novel like response, hopefully it's a bit clearer when you look at it from an overall perspective. Thank you for reading.

CHAIN Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Standard Member Joined: 14 November 2006 Status: Offline Points: 2769 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 8-4-0 Form: LWWLWW	Post Options Post Reply Quote CHAIN Report Post Likes(1) Quote Reply Posted: 19 January 2017 at 7:13pm
	Great break down. Appreciate it. Loved the cursive parts, nice touch. I'm upping this out of respect.
	+Sick-Witted+

spume corrupt Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Superior Member Joined: 27 April 2011 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 3163 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 20-7-1 Form: WLWLLL	Post Options Post Reply Quote spume corrupt Report Post Likes(1) Quote Reply Posted: 23 February 2017 at 11:04pm
	Just wanna get my feedback game up to speed, so I thought let's hit up the current KOTM! GONNA TRY GET THRU THEM ALL OVER NEXT FEW DAYS SO HONEST IS MY MIDDLE NAME! I WILL SAY WHAT I FEEL CORRUPT SUITS US ALL THOUGH, AND IT STAYS THE SAME DEAL ‘I never knew you’. it’s too common a phrase to govern my day but it’s just to say that I’m solemn at bay and it’s pouring some rain, THIS OPENING FOUR REALLY GRABBED ME, YOU CAME THRU WITH AN ADDRESS TYPE FEEL AND I FELT IMMEDIATELY DRAWN IN ..... acetic laden - your dominant state's my prominent play – ‘I never pulled through’ - Souffleur on Solomon’s grave. our punishment made in the modest of ways: child with spectacles meets its sovereign mate I DO RESPECT THE SCHEME HERE, AND THE RHYMING IS DEF HIGH END, TRANSITIONAL GAME IS FIRE! I MAKE NO APOLOGIZE THOUGH FOR STRUGGLING WITH THE MEANING WTF IS SOUFFLEUR? PLUS SOLOMON WHO? SO I GOOGLED SOUF, OK I GET YOU NOW SOLOMON, HIM WITH THE HAIR MAKES MORE SENSE THAN HIM WITH THE MINES! SO I GET YOU and what you are alluding to BUT I DON'T GET WHY ANYONE WOULD NEED TO TRAVEL THIS ROAD? FOR ME IT'S A FALSE HYBRID ENDEAVOUR , AT BEST IT'S A DIFFERENT SPORT! PLEASE DON'T GET ME WRONG THOUGH, I DO RESPECT YOUR GAME ...... ‘I never skewed truths'. you fostered me – not in a metaphorical way but literally. you lifted me on my chimerical climb inner misfit sinks in liquids at an ‘immeasurable’ price everything can be valued at dice so that’s an intentional lie SO I GET THE WORDING! THAT CHIMERISM LINE WAS DOPE YOU ARE FORCING ME TO CONSIDER DEEPER THAN I THINK A VERSE WITHIN THE MEDIUM OF HIP HOP CULTURE SHOULD! AND I AM MOST CERTAINLY NOT AN IGNORANT DUMMY! REGARDLESS OF THE FUCKING HEADACHE YOU ARE GIVEN ME AS A SURFACE DWELLING WRITER THRU FORCED EFFORTS I AM COMPLETELY ON THE SAME PAGE AS YOU AND CAN ONLY RESPECT YOUR WORKRATE ...... mistaking somersaults for rolls on my inevident thrive ‘I never pursuit ruse’. ‘poured one out for you’ just the other day Eight-year old liquid got that proper taste the one you gifted me for my wondrous trait HONESTLY MY BRAIN IS FUCKED RIGHT NOW, I AM DONE WITH THE DECIPHERING CRAP, BUT IT'S NOT HATE HERE JUST EXASPERATING BORDERLINE EXHAUSTING TBH IMO IT IS HARDER TO HAVE CLARITY IN THE CRYPTIC WORDING PEOPLE SHOULD BE LIKE............."OH SHIT THAT WAS DAMN"! WHEN IT HITS, NOT LEFT BAFFLED LOOK ITS ONLY MY OPINION SO ONLY MATTERS SO FAR, BUT FOR ME OVER CONTRIEVED CLEVERNESS HITS A POINT AND JUST BECOMES ANAL ONCE REMOVED ........ remember me in a bit of a raucous rage? leathered leads for a trip to my tarnished trace severed these through a sip from that Bacardi sway. we are both morally morbid yet oxymoronic on calling one of us is prone to their most toxic of thoughts and as the golden-glee in mornings turns to an atomic process and an oneiric blur is my coveting orbit. ‘I never used you’. I been told you inhabited me, my mind, every fucking.. insertable scene my Gemini, the ever-core of an insatiable seed Sister to Lilith – they call you a manic in realm ‘schizoaffective’ – that’s how they unravelled my dream I can feel the leather straps again.. the sedative stre- I DON'T FUCKING KNOW? CALL ME IGNORANCE! AT THE END OF THE DAY I'VE ONLY BEEN AT THIS FOR TEN YEARS PLUS! BUT IF IT'S ME NOT MOVING WITH THE TIMES, THEN LEAVE ME TO ROT! YOU ARE SKILLED ALI, AND EVERYBODY IS DIFFERENT BUT I JUST DON'T GET IT RESPECT NONE THE LESS, I CANT HATE ON YOUR APPARENT TALENT KEEP UP..................AND SIGN IN TO THE IC, YOU ARE DEF A NOTICABLE MISSING LINK ATM PEACE


Amgin Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Groupie Joined: 31 January 2017 Status: Offline Points: 140 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 0-3-0 Form: LLL	Post Options Post Reply Quote Amgin Report Post Likes(2) Quote Reply Posted: 26 February 2017 at 6:57pm
	This is really well put together and held well. It's nice to see more complicated words and patterns being strung together and having it kept tight. Will defs take notes and learn from this! Good job

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