Open Mic: The Forest

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U.N.L.M. View Drop Down
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    Posted: 10 July 2008 at 11:45pm
A story of two soldiers, thinking they knew their fate
Told surely they get the glory as long as they follow the bait  
Little did they know of the burden that hollow tips create
And they were only left to just swallow their debate


One was Serbian the other was Croatian
In the forest at their countries border with frustration
Both pissed as they were stuck in a deep dug trap
Guns not in sight so they were in a heap of crap
Soon they found out there was no use sluggin it out
When it came to teamwork both were shruggin in doubt
Wouldn't swallow their pride even for this one time
But got to talking and realized at the break of sunshine
That they were both similar people living similar lives
Both had a woman who was a keeper and childhood lies
Both their mothers had died and they came to the impression
That they were pawns for men with the lust for aggression
This war doesn't affect them why are they there they question
They're uniformed robots out to fill the leader's obsession
Of power to prosper while they don't care about the freedom
Since it's really about the forest and the border nothing to be free from
One side claims the forest as does the other causing a problem
So the only way to solve it is whoever survives from the bombing
At the topic of the forest the debate becomes more heated
Whatever reason they give the other feels cheated
Blubbering and blabbing they then start calling each other dumb
Until they both shut up and they hear something come
Excitement builds and they then start yelling like fools
Until they realize it's not reinforcements but rather the snarling of wolves
They get the point but it was not taken very bluntly
Cause they now know the forest belongs to neither of the countries

Edited by U.N.L.M. - 10 July 2008 at 11:47pm
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DressToKill View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote DressToKill Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 July 2008 at 12:06am
Lmfao @ The ending..I was really liking this peice man the story was pretty dope..The flow was good and mostly the content never really let up
 
my fav bit was
 
That they were both similar people living similar lives
Both had a woman who was a keeper and childhood lies
Both their mothers had died and they came to the impression
That they were pawns for men with the lust for aggression
This war doesn't affect them why are they there they question
They're uniformed robots out to fill the leader's obsession
Of power to prosper while they don't care about the freedom
Since it's really about the forest and the border nothing to be free from
 
I was really feelin that..the last 2 bars was some immortal tech shit haha
 
 
The original comeback kid
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Point Blank Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 July 2008 at 6:48am
Yea this was dope. The ending was nice, especially the last line. Well written too. Your still a herb tho
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Fatal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 July 2008 at 11:57am
Originally posted by Point Blank Point Blank wrote:

Yea this was dope. The ending was nice, especially the last line. Well written too. Your still a herb tho


Tongue
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Madeye Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 July 2008 at 8:02pm
Fuckin'... ill! flow and imagery, Kris...
I jus' watched an Epic-Unfolding...  Tight!

Fav~ segment:
Both their mothers had died and they came to the impression
That they were pawns for men with the lust for aggression


Deep, deep, deep.  Was captivated.  Dope Ish, Fam...

One ['1]


Edited by Madeye - 11 July 2008 at 8:04pm
<font color=darkgray>I'm only offended by those I respect... and I don't respect you[/COLOR]
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote U.N.L.M. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 July 2008 at 12:07am
Thanks for the feed guys(except Point of course)...just giving this one last boost
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Swift Styles Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 July 2008 at 11:40pm
lmao... cool read
you handled the story quite well. easy to follow.
rhymes were simple yet used in a scheme that made em tight.
ending was funny dude.. also liked

One side claims the forest as does the other causing a problem
So the only way to solve it is whoever survives from the bombing


enjoyable no doubt, keep up

also i got a friend from serbia and one from croasia. just thought that was pretty cool.


Edited by Swift Styles - 18 July 2008 at 11:42pm
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