Elevation Centre: I need to do practice but I need some1 to watch it

there's just no structure to it man. try and keep an even number of bars and make something that makes general sense and rhymes well at the end of each line. Plan out what u are gonna do before you do it, it's the best way to start. Take a look at the rhyme scheme based guide I started, it may help you.

haha yeah that's your structure sorted...kinda. now make the bars a little bit longer, and make them mean something REAL. Hiphop, TRUE HIPHOP, isn't a style of music, it's a culture. It started with 4 elements (in order of introduction to the culture) DJAYING, BBOYING, WRITING (graffitti) and EMCEEING. It's about expression man. People will like your shit more, if it's TRUE EXPRESSION of who YOU ARE. not cliched bullshit ya know? Try writing 16 lines of something with a basic scheme like you just did. but make the lines about half as long again. And make it mean somethin!

Nah man, i aint need any props for any of this shit man. It's a cycle, when i started, plenty of heads sorted my shit out and worked like fuck to get me good, knowledgeable and skill. it's only right that I do the same. That's Hiphop bruv.

To be honest man, i'm lookin at my options crew wise. there's a chance my real life crew might join up, in which case we wouldn't need a forum coz we rep that crew anyway, so it'd be a straightforward deal.

can tell your from canada

Rameez, you're gettin it man. the structure and flow are drastically improving already. do me a favour and write a 16 line verse about something real though. somethin you feel, somethin you want, somethin you've seen, somethin you ACTUALLY DO. any of those things will do. You'll find the words come easier when it's something you actually know, rather than jhust cliche gangster words. do a 16 line verse well, and i'll add u to my msn and teach you more complex shit. :P

ok I made this one quick, I'll make a 16 lines latter.. but check this out if it sounds ok.. this more like from hitman video game..LOL

I was born to kill, train with hitman skills
My boss gives me drug pills, so I can fight ill
Thought me to murder on alive person in prison
So I�m like a reaper stab on alive person with precision
My first project to eliminate a lil street thug
So I find this suspect who sell illegal drugs
Silently from back I wired his neck
He couldn�t attack cuz his bone got wreck
Mission complete, thousand bucks in my pocket
Experience gained, official member with sliver locket
A year later, I�m like mass murder getting well paid
I hear news each day but still stayed cruel with my blade


Edited by Rameez - 30 August 2007 at 5:46pm

I�ll talk about my story, right to the point

Where I struggle days & night, almost break my joint

 

I got hard life with out a wife

But I can make food with chief knife

Currently I go in college, which is technologically hype

Stare cleavage, and learn lab practical skills of different type

The teachers are little strict with their rules

But when there is a test I always trick these fools

I make jokes with my friend, about all of my teacher

Like she stroke pencil in her chubby ass, during lecture

When teacher fucks with me, I complain on there face

And I�m always lucky cuz I make them feel disgrace

I always attack verbally when these bitches say shit to me

They can�t talk back cuz I got fake disability letter with me� 

The way I got into disability cuz I need more time during test

Now I get double hour its reality, so with more time, bring rest

So fuck this, now I got addicted to this rap

But I suck, reading from top to bottom it�s all crap

I got to this hip-hop when I met a unknown guy on facebook

He Ask me if I can hip� but I say I can beef and not even a rook

So I join his group �lyrical battlefield� spit some mothafucker rap

Got lots of criticism, like losing my shield, feeling emotionally sap

Now I�m here on lyrical assault, improving and gaining new skills

And I have hard time understanding basic like I need brain pills

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

probably not good..  :/

thanks man I used Rhyme scheme like __A__B,  __A__A
from Swordedsytle guide.. thx to his guide..

Ok now I'll make aggressive attack... let me now, if it is ok

 I�m pissed to ur dis get R.I.P when I flip�n hit

Throw u from pits; get dip-die in my poison spit

You bitch-witch, get torn when my sound get higher pitch   

If u end up in hospital, I�ll cause glitch to turn off ur life switch

My rhyme is causing crime It�s a way I pass time

U slime mouth causin grime, its ur body losin enzyme

You cannot face me, as if I would disgrace ur race

I�m symbolize ace, u won�t live in ur place with grace

Edited by Rameez - 01 September 2007 at 10:18pm